Not the period we’re talking about In a recent article posted in the Hollywood Reporter regarding No Time To Die, Lashana Lynch stated her desire to include a scene in which she disposes of a tampon. Let us put this bit of punctuational paraphernalia disposal on pause for a moment whilst we explore the rest…
Yo check it Bond bros, I just got some No Time To Tan the official James Bond special edition skin dye! I alluded to a certain class of Bond fan in my Aston Martin rant some time back, namely the well healed fanboy who shells out his hard earned money for the various “officially…
Clasp your hands and close your eyes then get ready for a big surprise! Shortly after my last rant concerning Aston Martin and the “homages” in which two of their vintage vehicles will be appearing, the No Time To Die second unit descended upon the sleepy little Italian village of Matera to begin filming…
In an effort to beat the dead horse that is my biblical analogy, the inhabitants of the garden of EON are cast out of paradise once they eat of the fruit of knowledge. In this case that fruit takes the form of the reboot fad that began sweeping the film industry in the mid…
Since the news of the new female “007” broke last week the internet exploded. Every Barney Fife caliber, red meat “alpha male” who think they’re 3 push ups away from becoming a commando has posted a blog, vlog or rant excoriating “Jane Bond.” I’m not a huge fan of what’s going on, but…
Another day another tragedy on the set of Bond 25, hey that has a nice ring to it, maybe that’s what they should call this film! This time it comes in the form of notorious diva Grace Jones, who found her role unsatisfactory and walked off set rather than film her cameo for…
Daniel Craig fresh from working out on set. Sorry this gag never gets old, unlike Craig. EON released the preceding photo on their Twitter account a few days ago, I’m assuming to assure everyone Dan hasn’t fallen off his special muscle “supplements.” Unfortunately all it did was bring this image to mind. …
Barbara “Babbzy” Broccoli, yes she actually calls herself that folks. Check this email she sent in 2014 to Sony head Amy Pascal, wherein she infers Jamaica is a dangerous “shit hole” to paraphrase a certain embattled American politician and note Babbz’ email address. . This is a woman who egotistically states she rules her production company…
A few days ago it was reported a major “bombshell” dropped on the set of the latest film in the James Bond film series. No, it wasn’t a major plot point, since none exist. Nor was it news that a title had been selected for this celluloid debacle! No the bombshell was that…
 Daniel Craig’s much younger replacement? Bond has gone under many different incarnations since his big screen debut in 1962, an enduring series that has seen six different starring actors. The irony is when Connery left the series everyone thought it was dead, when in fact it was what helped keep it going. Had…
May 15, 2019, a profound historic event was reported on all the major news wires, namely that Daniel Craig fell down and went boom. Thankfully it appears Dan wasn’t badly injured, depending on who you ask, he’ll be returning after a one to two week recovery, so I can joke, but it serves as an…
Is EON grooming Rami Malek to play Howard the Duck in an Oscar bait biopic about the titular mallard?! In the recent press junket (emphasis junk) the cast for the as yet unnamed Bond 25 was confirmed. I wonder why not just stick with “Bond 25” as the title? It has just as much…
Daniel Craig appearing in EON’s bizarre suicide prevention/pharmaceutical advert promotional campaign. This is the official synopsis of the forthcoming Bond 25: “Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica. His peace is short-lived when his old friend Felix Leiter from the CIA turns up asking for help.…
A copy of the Bond 25 script acquired at high cost of lives and money for you the reader! Dateline, April 25, 2019, EON Productions interrupts your busy day to hold a press conference for Bond 25 in order to inform you nothing is happening! Yes you read that right EON’s coterie of…
Previously I wrote about two different love scenes, one from Goldfinger and the other from SPECTRE. I thought this time I would take a look at the two actors in those scenes, because on the surface they appear quite similar. They both came from humble roots, Connery from the rough and tumble streets of Edinburgh,…
Scribbling on the Stall: Apparently Paul Haggis is back to help pen this masterpiece alongside the dynamic hack duo of Purvis and Wade with the aforementioned Mr. Burns. You might recognize Mr. Haggis’ name from the highly over rated Casino Royale where he punched up P and W’s ham handed adaptation of Fleming’s last remaining…
Since I spoke on the Craig villains last rant I thought I’d flip to the other side of the coin and talk about the man himself. In the old days Bond always won in the end… that is until Craig came along. Now some may see that as “gritty realism” or “vulnerability” in Craig’s character,…
After re-reading Casino Royale recently I wondered what if Brosnan had been given Fleming’s final unfilmed property as his swan song, instead of the overly bloated Die Another day. Or at the very least had they put that property in their pocket and waited until Craig had established a few missions under his belt…
I’ve seen many a pundit point to the box office take of Craig’s films as evidence of his greatness in the role. Far too many of whom thrust forward the unadjusted figures proclaiming him the “Highest Grossing Bond of all time and therefore the best!” And that statement is true; in that Craig is…
Well its official Daniel Craig has slashed his wrists, at least metaphorically speaking. Craig claims he “changed his mind” concerning his return to Bond. Not true, everyone forgets the entire quote. Craig said, “Now? I’d rather break this glass and slash my wrists… If I did another Bond movie, it would only be for…