The Spy Who Loved #MeToo


Since the news of the new female “007” broke last week the internet exploded.


Every Barney Fife caliber, red meat “alpha male” who think they’re 3 push ups away from becoming a commando has posted a blog, vlog or rant excoriating “Jane Bond.”

I’m not a huge fan of what’s going on, but I find it hilarious these staunch defenders of Bondom are in such a tizzy over a female “007.” Especially when they were absolutely silent as Craig and EON dismantled the franchise over the past decade and a half. Such as placing Bond in tiny blue shorts on a Bahamian beach and when he giggled like a school girl while tied naked to a chair and his manhood bashed in Casino Royale. Or when Craig sat at a bar with Jeffery Wright and spewed polemics against western civilization, oil production and water rights (something I expect is happening in reality at this very moment!) in Quantum of Solace. Their mouths were further shut when Craig tittered and flirted with the pansexual villain in Skyfall while he stroked and caressed Craig, who also suggested he has partaken in the “love that dare not speak it’s name.” How about when other stunt writing emerged in the series such as the death of M, or Blofeld being reduced to the evil brother soap opera trope. And let’s not forget the woman’s day special where Bond is not only cuckolded by M, but they also went so far as to literally dress him in drag! So you’ll have to forgive me if I find these disingenuous outbursts a too little too late.

Jane Bond?! Craig already did it!


On the other hand many a blue haired “Social Justice Warrior” has cheered, danced and sung the praises of there “finally” being a female James Bond, which absolutely no one who follows Bond has been asking for. The irony being none of these loud shrieking voices have any intention on spending a single penny to view this, or any other Bond film. Even if it were true that Lashana Lynch is taking over the series, it would never be enough, next they’ll demand a “trans” Bond, or a disabled Bond, or fill in the blank Bond. So what makes Bond so special that he must change? How about the music industry, where the words bit@h, h@ and a braggadocios lyric about engaging in unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancy permeates every other jumble of noise that passes for a song these days! But hey that’s OK, they seem to say, under the soft bigotry of low expectations, these poor ignorant souls know not of what they speak. Then there’s the pornography industry, now clearly that is where the “patriarchy” flourishes, every film not only objectifies women but is also sexual degradation caught on tape and sold for profit! But surely it is a fictional character having consensual relations with dynamic, adventurous women and spouting a couple of corny puns that deserves your scornful attention!

Her (Zer?) bathtub tattoo insists on it! 

What these two examples of mind power above exhibit, is that there is a lack of reading comprehension being taught in our schools. Of course the poor and intentionally confusing writing of these clickbait articles doesn’t help. We know Lynch is playing an agent who will be holding the 007 code number just long enough for Craig to snatch it back by the end of the film. If the facts as we know them are to be believed, Bond 26 will not be starring Lynch or any other female as the protagonist, but don’t count on these brainiacs to understand that!


I believe EON has been going in this female 007 direction from the start, using leftovers from Danny Boyle’s script. Usually stunt writing like this is kept under lock and key by EON for the shock or “popcorn dropping” value, see M’s death/Bro-feld above. However they decided to “leak” this tidbit now in order to drum up some conversation that wasn’t focused on the accidents, mishaps or perverts occurring on set. What this whole kerfuffle is about, is simply marketing. This whole thing is on par with the obligatory Heineken beer articles, where they claim every film without a hint of irony that “James Bond ditches his martini for beer!” also in 2015 and 2017 yet he still drinks a martini in each film.

Believe it or not I didn’t make this photo, it’s from an article posted on an actual news outlet!


The P.R. leak of lady “007” is yet another blunder of the many that has plagued this film. I think EON underestimated the controversy created by this bit of info and rather than conversation, the sensationalized “news” stories are drumming up more push back than they had expected. However they should have expected it, especially after the nerd rage generated over the female Ghostbusters, the latest Star Wars films and Captain Marvel.


Hyperbolic images such as this are permeating the landscape and dominating the conversation, turning people who might actually spend money on a Bond film off altogether.


Of course EON could just take pages from those other studio’s play book and claim anyone who dislikes this publicity stunt is a sexist misogynist dinosaur, but that didn’t work out too well for those other franchises.


I’m rather troubled by the “universal truth” being sputtered by every major media outlet that Bond must conform to the “#metoo era,” which could create future degradation to the franchise. Not that it could slip much further down the woke rabbit hole, nor that I have much hope of it coming back.


First, I have to ask to which #metoo are these arbiters of pop culture referring? The organic ground swell that erupted when aspiring young actors finally had enough of the century’s old “casting couch?”

Remember these guys?


Or are you speaking of the compromised Hollywood version? Used to shut down the original movement and distract from their own shenanigans? I mean either Hollywood is under the delusion every man on planet earth behaves like an over sexed, under moraled, film producer who feels he’s entitled to every woman he comes across, or this is a disingenuous distraction, turned power grab by savvy public relations agents. Furthermore this movement depicts women as helpless shrinking violets who are incapable of standing up for themselves without an over arcing organisation looking after them, a “patriarchy” if you will.

Funny how the movement has nothing to do with the film industry anymore and is all about Hollywood’s very own pet politics instead.


In reality none of this has anything to do with Bond, he’s the latest battlefield for the “warriors of social justice” and the “soldiers of the he-man woman haters brigade” to engage each other in combat. It all reminds me of a novel written by the overrated author Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle. In this story the protagonist arrives on a small Caribbean island ruled by a dictator named Papa Monzano, who is antagonized by a rebel leader named Bokonon. In reality the two are in cahoots and only oppose each other because in order to truly control the people there must be two contradictory sides.


You see progressives aren’t necessary unless there’s something to progress to. We can never “reach the promised land” because they’ll lose all their power if we do. So they’ll leverage their friends and allies in the entertainment industry to keep the fight going. On the other side conservatives need to “conserve” so they can stay relevant, hence all the controversy, rage posts, chest thumping and punditry!


Speaking of feminism, in contrast to #Metoo, I thought the aim of the movement was to get women out of the kitchen and into the workforce, to show women are as self sufficient and adventurous as men. That women are capable of engaging in as many meaningless, anonymous and inconsequential affairs as men do? So what’s the problem? That all sounds like just about every Bond girl to me! Well it used to until about 2006 and I’ll be exploring that in the rants to come.







  7 comments for “The Spy Who Loved #MeToo

  1. The main reason that the character of Bond treats most women the way that he does (excluding Craig’s version of course who comes over as just plain creepy, or worse) is because, being a well travelled “man of the world” he knows exactly how dangerous a “bad girl” type can actually be.
    Best to sit tight and hope that all this identity/gender/grievance politics crap will just burn itself out. Preferably without consuming the entire Western World along with itself.
    Although if the odd film company were to screw the pooch and go bust, I for one wouldn’t shed a tear. It might even mean certain franchises and properties falling into the hands of people who would treat them with more care and respect.

    Also, R.I.P David “Al” Hedison. A genuinley nice bloke and a much better Felix than some I could mention.
    And before one of the professionally outraged starts on me with the “R” word, I really liked Bernie Casey too who is also, sadly, no longer with us…

  2. I’ve never understood the charge that film Bond is a misogynist. He definitely has some issues in the novels, but Bond in film is always portrayed as a modern man who treats women with respect (except maybe for the ones trying to destroy the world). In fact, the most misogynistic I’ve ever seen ‘Bond’ is in Skyfall when Craig moves on Sévérine, a woman who has just confessed to him that she was brought into sex slavery as a teenager and is in no position to refuse him, and then allows her to be killed without an afterthought! Talk about a sociopath.

  3. Perhaps Babs is more sophisticated that we give her credit for. Maybe she planned on turning this click hate fake virtue signaling towards anticipation for her first none Bond spy film staring Deadpool’s wife. It would be just like her to try to sell her other disaster of a movie project as the female 007. I think it’s all blown up in her face, first the press and online audience were not thrilled Craig was back, didn’t care about the director and writer turn over other than to make points about what a joke production is. Then the click hate story about OMG a female agent holding the 007 title gets the free publicity she wanted but not necessarily in a positive way she thought she would get it.
    Phoebe what’s-her-face didn’t get the buzz Babs wanted, in fact What’s-her-face hurt her brand by rubber stamping the crude Craig era treatment of women. However what really got everyone’s attention was “the new 007”, the internet therefore audiences want a change, might not even know why just that the idea of a new direction in what has now become a stale series is exciting.

    Babs ought to be afraid of #metoo especially is rumors of her star’s off set demands and predictor actions are true because the powerful icon female producer Babs Broccoli was nothing more than enabler. But I doubt the movement has any real teeth left, Hollywood was quick to hand over a few goats to take the blame and clever enough to put themselves in favorable positions to help steer public outings of bad behavior. If the movement were real and Hollywood was serious about changing their studio culture the #metoo stories would be ramping up and making news everyday.

    Far as James Bond goes the series with Craig and his input steering it has become old. In the generation of the golden age of streaming and series production, with movie series like Marvel, Craig’s Bond is stuck trying to reinvent how “Bond becomes Bond” for the fifth time now, a story arc which should last only one movie has become a decade and a half of Babs and Craig trying to rediscover James Bond but getting it wrong.

    I have no idea if Bond 25 “guess who’s 007 now” will be successful or not. I have a feeling it’s not going to completely bomb even with bad timing of the release and the over all apathy of the audience. It might even be a critical darling like the last two overhyped over promised Craig films. But I do have the feeling it’s a line in the sand for Bond fans, put up with more of the same disrespect from Craig and Babs and misuse of the characters will get much worse very shortly. but then again the only fans Babs recognizes have cheered her doing with James Bond 007 exactly what Ian Fleming said he was against.
    For Bond fans it’s our watershed DCEU Justice League moment. Bond 25 failing is the only thing that can break the delusion Babs is operating under. The only thing that’ll make her fellow producers and studio partners take stock of the franchise and think about setting it right. Not going to happen but it’s be nice if it did.

  4. Well we can tell all out there to boycott any future releases. I am sure that neither Harry Saltzman nor Albert Broccoli would really stand for the non sense that Bond has become. I may be one of the few who think Bond doesn’t belong in the 21st Century.

    • Maybe you are right. But if Tom Cruise and his merry chums can continue cranking out Mission Impossible films, surely someone out there must be capable of making something that passes for a decent Bond adventure.
      Not Babsy & co obviously…

    • “I may be one of the few who think Bond doesn’t belong in the 21st Century.”

      I actually agree with you 100%. They’ve spent the entire Craig series trying to keep Bond relevant in a post-9/11 world, but it just doesn’t work. At this point I’d just like to see Bond retired (unless someone comes up with a really great concept) and just appreciate the 40 years of good movies we already have.

    • You’re right Janna, Bond doesn’t belong in the 21st century if only the producers would realize that as well and stop trying to be too clever by half, we’d get some decent films!

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