Craig’s Bond you are… (not?) the father! Remember last rant when I asked why EON passed on director Cary Funksoulbrother’s grand idea to have half the film play out in Craig’s drill induced fever dream? Well we have an answer, they had an even bigger soap operatic trope in mind, the long lost child!…
No, no, I’m referring to the fever dreams that seem to be permeating the halls of EON lately, not the Brian Benben lead HBO series from the 90’s who’s only reason for existing was to juxtapose nude women with clips from Petticoat Junction. It’s been a little while since I last posted, I started…
Honor Blackman 1925-2020 It is a sad day in Bondom as we say goodbye to Honor Blackman, who’s Pussy Galore is perhaps the most famous “Bond Girl” of all time. Ironically I just watched Goldfinger last Saturday, reminding me why she is my personal favorite Bond girl. Beautiful and vivacious without being a 98…
Just about sums it up. Alright it’s been long enough, I guess I need to get this bloody thing over with now. You may have noticed I’ve put off commenting on the No Time To Die theme song by Billie Eilish for some time now. You would think such a momentous occasion would have…
The unavoidable shouting match playing out ad nausea in every facet of western humanity. Whatever the reason for the delay of No Time To Die’s release, whether it be the noble, heroic effort to save lives as spelled out in the MI6-HQ “open letter” or a cynical attempt to maximize the money this film makes…
According to the official 007 edition Omega Seamaster Swiss watch™, there is no time for No Time To Die. What there hasn’t been time for lately has been my coverage of all the various bits and pieces to have come out of EON over the last month. The theme song, promotional posters and a…
Is it just me, or has the quality at Madam Tussauds’ dropped off lately? The first Sunday in February saw a sporting event of a “Super” magnitude here in the United States. This celebrated “Bowl” game is renown for it’s very expensive commercial blocks. This year ad spots cost upwards of $5.6 million U.S.…
From my cold dead hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! According to this article Barbara Broccoli is a rather forlorn woman. It seems the prospect of Ms Babz losing her favorite boy toy has her lamenting in abject misery. Quote: Broccoli told Variety: “I’m in total denial. “I’ve accepted what Daniel has said, but I’m still in denial. It’s too traumatic…
No Time To Float It seems the fickle finger of fate has once again wagged itself at the production of No Time To Die, this time in the form of composer Dan Romer’s exit a scant four months from release! According to this article the ouster was in the works as early as November…
That bell shaped coat makes Malek look like a ding dong. There is a ridiculous rumor floating around that Rami Malek’s character “Safin” will in fact turn out to be Dr. Julius No. I say ridiculous, but in reality nothing about EON surprises me anymore. Five years ago when the Blofeld as Bond’s foster…
Hey look, something else to ascribe politics upon and bicker over! I’ve spoken ad-nausea lately about the warring factions fighting the good fight over the prospect of lady “007” and other politically charged rumors surrounding No Time To Die. In fact I’ve probably spent more time covering them than they have covering the film, I’ve…
The world’s reaction to the No Time To Die trailer. December 1, 2019, an eleven second teaser trailer premiered to inform us that three days later an even longer trailer will be released for EON’s latest debacle, No Time To Die. I have to ask why? If you’re going to tease a trailer, why…
In the case of your author, it’s more like dummy for copyright Last rant I left you with baited breath on the subject of Lashana Lynch’s “007” status getting revoked. I personally believe this may be for reasons other than fan displeasure as claimed in this article. I know nothing about the subject of copyright…
If anybody was excited to see this film, that’s been rectified! Last rant, I discussed Lashana Lynch’s comments regarding her desire to include a scene wherein she disposes of a tampon. I still believe this to be a troll by the actress, however the longer it goes uncorrected the more damage is done. EON…
Not the period we’re talking about In a recent article posted in the Hollywood Reporter regarding No Time To Die, Lashana Lynch stated her desire to include a scene in which she disposes of a tampon. Let us put this bit of punctuational paraphernalia disposal on pause for a moment whilst we explore the rest…
Yo check it Bond bros, I just got some No Time To Tan the official James Bond special edition skin dye! I alluded to a certain class of Bond fan in my Aston Martin rant some time back, namely the well healed fanboy who shells out his hard earned money for the various “officially…
Clasp your hands and close your eyes then get ready for a big surprise! Shortly after my last rant concerning Aston Martin and the “homages” in which two of their vintage vehicles will be appearing, the No Time To Die second unit descended upon the sleepy little Italian village of Matera to begin filming…
Believe it or not I didn’t create this image! Since I’m fresh from my vacation in California’s Monterey Bay for “Car Week,” where an Aston Martin DB5 used in promotion for Thunderball was sold for a record $6.4 million. I thought I’d reach back to a rumor from April that Bond 25 Director Cary Funkenstien wanted to…
Take a spin on EON’s newest attraction! The wheel of misfortune has been spinning on the set of Bond 25 faster than the corpse of Ian Fleming, with bad news coming so fast and furious a few items have fallen through the cracks, especially in the wake of the female “007” news and I’m sure…
In an effort to beat the dead horse that is my biblical analogy, the inhabitants of the garden of EON are cast out of paradise once they eat of the fruit of knowledge. In this case that fruit takes the form of the reboot fad that began sweeping the film industry in the mid…
