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The Spy Who Loved #MeToo

  Since the news of the new female “007” broke last week the internet exploded.   Every Barney Fife caliber, red meat “alpha male” who think they’re 3 push ups away from becoming a commando has posted a blog, vlog or rant excoriating “Jane Bond.” I’m not a huge fan of what’s going on, but…

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Oh, Oh, Feminism!

    From Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary:   “Clickbait: something (such as a headline) designed to make readers want to click on a hyperlink especially when the link leads to content of dubious value or interest”   Click here! Click here! The next installment of the James Bond franchise will feature a FEMALE “007!”   Note “007”…

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Pumping Iron and Other Substances

Daniel Craig fresh from working out on set. Sorry this gag never gets old, unlike Craig.     EON released the preceding photo on their Twitter account a few days ago, I’m assuming to assure everyone Dan hasn’t fallen off his special muscle “supplements.” Unfortunately all it did was bring this image to mind.  …

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Ruled By an Iron Fist in an Iron Glove Wielded By an Iron Lady?

Barbara “Babbzy” Broccoli, yes she actually calls herself that folks. Check this email she sent in 2014 to Sony head Amy Pascal, wherein she infers Jamaica is a dangerous “shit hole” to paraphrase a certain embattled American politician and note Babbz’ email address. . This is a woman who egotistically states she rules her production company…

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Explosions and Other Bombshells from the Set of Bond 25

    A few days ago it was reported a major “bombshell” dropped on the set of the latest film in the James Bond film series. No, it wasn’t a major plot point, since none exist. Nor was it news that a title had been selected for this celluloid debacle! No the bombshell was that…

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Fresh Face or Mo Money Mo Problems

 Daniel Craig’s much younger replacement?     Bond has gone under many different incarnations since his big screen debut in 1962, an enduring series that has seen six different starring actors. The irony is when Connery left the series everyone thought it was dead, when in fact it was what helped keep it going. Had…

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Break A Leg (and other odds and ends)

May 15, 2019, a profound historic event was reported on all the major news wires, namely that Daniel Craig fell down and went boom. Thankfully it appears Dan wasn’t badly injured, depending on who you ask, he’ll be returning after a one to two week recovery, so I can joke, but it serves as an…

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Ad Nauseum!

EON’s inexplicable ad campaign featuring photographic poses reminiscent of pharmaceutical, psychiatric, and beauty care flyers.  

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Bohemian Travesty

Is EON grooming Rami Malek to play Howard the Duck in an Oscar bait biopic about the titular mallard?!   In the recent press junket (emphasis junk) the cast for the as yet unnamed Bond 25 was confirmed. I wonder why not just stick with “Bond 25” as the title? It has just as much…

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The Plot Thickens?

Daniel Craig appearing in EON’s bizarre suicide prevention/pharmaceutical advert promotional campaign.     This is the official synopsis of the forthcoming Bond 25:   “Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica. His peace is short-lived when his old friend Felix Leiter from the CIA turns up asking for help.…

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SHATTERCLIPSE: Apropos of Nothing

A copy of the Bond 25 script acquired at high cost of lives and money for you the reader!     Dateline, April 25, 2019, EON Productions interrupts your busy day to hold a press conference for Bond 25 in order to inform you nothing is happening! Yes you read that right EON’s coterie of…

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Connery and Craig A Tale of Two Uncouth Actors

Previously I wrote about two different love scenes, one from Goldfinger and the other from SPECTRE. I thought this time I would take a look at the two actors in those scenes, because on the surface they appear quite similar. They both came from humble roots, Connery from the rough and tumble streets of Edinburgh,…

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A Horse by Committee

The old saying goes, a camel is a horse designed by committee. Another saying is, too many cooks spoil the broth; well it seems EON has brought in another cook to work on the chaos soup that is Bond 25. That chef’s name is Phoebe Waller-Bridge; apparently Ms. Bridge was brought in at Craig’s insistence.…

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The Spy Who Loved Her (whether she liked it or not)

Connery’s Bond has been accused in the past of being a bit “rapey”, most point to his seduction of Honor Blackman’s Pussy Galore in Goldfinger as the ultimate example. Let’s take a look at that scene and compare it to another more contemporary love scene. After Bond is found under Goldfinger’s model, the nefarious bullion…

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Daniel Craig: Worst Spy Ever

Since I spoke on the Craig villains last rant I thought I’d flip to the other side of the coin and talk about the man himself. In the old days Bond always won in the end… that is until Craig came along. Now some may see that as “gritty realism” or “vulnerability” in Craig’s character,…

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Criminally Bad Villains

  My last rant concerned some of the schemes devised by villains in the series and the rise of independent megalomaniacs due to EON’s historic reluctance to get political. This time around I’d like to look at some of the villains themselves, specifically the last four to have soiled our screens. I’m not going to…

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Without Russia From Love

  As we await the run up to the pre-production of Bond 25, I thought we could take a look back to a statement made by Michael G. Wilson’s son Greg concerning the direction of the series. The younger Wilson said after the release of SPECTRE: “We’ve just begun to doodle with ideas for the…

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Austin Powers Shagged Us!

  The title to this rant is a reference to something Craig said a while ago concerning the darker direction his films took compared to his predecessors. Of course Craig’s quote was far cruder, containing his obligatory F-bomb, but what else would you expect from a man who looks like a longshoreman? His implication is…