No Time To Digest: Part 10, Psycho-Therapy

“Zo Mister Craig, show me on ze doll vhere ze bad producer touched you.” No, no, no, not therapy for psychos, I’m talking about therapy by psychos! Both Satin Safin and Bro-feld probe the mental faculties of their conversation partners! Hannibal SPECTRE Let’s see, where were we, last time we witnessed the Craig-Bond, Moneypenny and the…

No Time To Digest: Part 9, The Livid Daylights

“Leave me out of this Shit show!” The last scene inferred the Craig-Bond had been rescued by a passing cargo ship, no doubt on it’s way to anchor indefinitely outside one of America’s ports.  “We’ll get these products to market someday!” Smash cut to a darkened interior where we can vaguely make out the ceramic…

No Time To Digest: Part 8, A Titanic Disappointment

Excerpt from TripAdvisor 1912: “I wish I could give zero stars! Ship was late to New York, too much ice in drinks and air conditioning was way too cold! Epic fail!”   The Craig-Bond and Dr. Borat are now airborne winging their way to a rendezvous with Felix, when Dr. Borat says in his native dialect,…

No Time To Digest: Part 7, Cuban Miscue Crisis

This sequence is perhaps the most bizarre out of the entire film, not because it’s any worse or poorly made than any of the others, but because it sticks out like a sore thumb. It has moments that feel more at home in a Roger Moore romp than this deathly serious Craig dirge. It’s quite…

No Time To Digest: Part 6, Ja-Make-Ah Mistake?

Last episode M told Moneypenny to get him 007 and I cautioned you to hold on to your popcorn…  Because I don’t want you to make a mess! As he says that, we smash cut to the Craig-Bond on a sailing yacht! Yes the “popcorn dropping” moment of Lashana Lynch walking in bold, black, beautiful…

No Time To Digest: Part 4, Temper Raising Titles

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? As the train carrying a forlorn Madeline Swann pulls away the screen begins to morph and colorful dots start to materialize… Wait there’s something familiar about this… Where have I seen this before?! Wait a minute!… NO! Dr. NO, PLEASE GOD NOOOO! Oh Yes!…

No Time To Digest: Part 3, Forgive Me Nots

Some things are just unforgivable old boy!   We left off the first half of the pre-title sequence with Satan Safin pulling 9 year old Madeline from the icy cold waters of Norway and smashing to older Madeline surging up from the Mediterranean breakers, finding a shirtless Craig-Bond smiling at her and asking if “everything…

No Time To Digest: Part 2, Noh way in Norway

I believe it was Sun Tsu in The Art of War who famously said: “Always wear a ceramic mask with tiny eyeholes when going into combat.” That mask Rami Malek is wearing up there is known as a “Noh mask,” how am I so sure? It was submitted as “evidence” Malek’s character would in fact turn…