If anybody was excited to see this film, that’s been rectified! Last rant, I discussed Lashana Lynch’s comments regarding her desire to include a scene wherein she disposes of a tampon. I still believe this to be a troll by the actress, however the longer it goes uncorrected the more damage is done. EON…
Not the period we’re talking about In a recent article posted in the Hollywood Reporter regarding No Time To Die, Lashana Lynch stated her desire to include a scene in which she disposes of a tampon. Let us put this bit of punctuational paraphernalia disposal on pause for a moment whilst we explore the rest…
Yo check it Bond bros, I just got some No Time To Tan the official James Bond special edition skin dye! I alluded to a certain class of Bond fan in my Aston Martin rant some time back, namely the well healed fanboy who shells out his hard earned money for the various “officially…
Clasp your hands and close your eyes then get ready for a big surprise! Shortly after my last rant concerning Aston Martin and the “homages” in which two of their vintage vehicles will be appearing, the No Time To Die second unit descended upon the sleepy little Italian village of Matera to begin filming…
Believe it or not I didn’t create this image! Since I’m fresh from my vacation in California’s Monterey Bay for “Car Week,” where an Aston Martin DB5 used in promotion for Thunderball was sold for a record $6.4 million. I thought I’d reach back to a rumor from April that Bond 25 Director Cary Funkenstien wanted to…
Take a spin on EON’s newest attraction! The wheel of misfortune has been spinning on the set of Bond 25 faster than the corpse of Ian Fleming, with bad news coming so fast and furious a few items have fallen through the cracks, especially in the wake of the female “007” news and I’m sure…
In an effort to beat the dead horse that is my biblical analogy, the inhabitants of the garden of EON are cast out of paradise once they eat of the fruit of knowledge. In this case that fruit takes the form of the reboot fad that began sweeping the film industry in the mid…
The title of this piece references the book of Genesis from the Judeo-Christian Bible tradition. For those of you not familiar with the story of Genesis, in the beginning there was Archangel Peter Gabriel followed by his disciple Phil Collins. I feel a Big Time, In The Air Tonight. I kid of course, in…
Since the news of the new female “007” broke last week the internet exploded. Every Barney Fife caliber, red meat “alpha male” who think they’re 3 push ups away from becoming a commando has posted a blog, vlog or rant excoriating “Jane Bond.” I’m not a huge fan of what’s going on, but…
From Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary: “Clickbait: something (such as a headline) designed to make readers want to click on a hyperlink especially when the link leads to content of dubious value or interest” Click here! Click here! The next installment of the James Bond franchise will feature a FEMALE “007!” Note “007”…
Another day another tragedy on the set of Bond 25, hey that has a nice ring to it, maybe that’s what they should call this film! This time it comes in the form of notorious diva Grace Jones, who found her role unsatisfactory and walked off set rather than film her cameo for…
Daniel Craig fresh from working out on set. Sorry this gag never gets old, unlike Craig. EON released the preceding photo on their Twitter account a few days ago, I’m assuming to assure everyone Dan hasn’t fallen off his special muscle “supplements.” Unfortunately all it did was bring this image to mind. …
Barbara “Babbzy” Broccoli, yes she actually calls herself that folks. Check this email she sent in 2014 to Sony head Amy Pascal, wherein she infers Jamaica is a dangerous “shit hole” to paraphrase a certain embattled American politician and note Babbz’ email address. . This is a woman who egotistically states she rules her production company…
A few days ago it was reported a major “bombshell” dropped on the set of the latest film in the James Bond film series. No, it wasn’t a major plot point, since none exist. Nor was it news that a title had been selected for this celluloid debacle! No the bombshell was that…
 Daniel Craig’s much younger replacement? Bond has gone under many different incarnations since his big screen debut in 1962, an enduring series that has seen six different starring actors. The irony is when Connery left the series everyone thought it was dead, when in fact it was what helped keep it going. Had…
May 15, 2019, a profound historic event was reported on all the major news wires, namely that Daniel Craig fell down and went boom. Thankfully it appears Dan wasn’t badly injured, depending on who you ask, he’ll be returning after a one to two week recovery, so I can joke, but it serves as an…
EON’s inexplicable ad campaign featuring photographic poses reminiscent of pharmaceutical, psychiatric, and beauty care flyers.
Is EON grooming Rami Malek to play Howard the Duck in an Oscar bait biopic about the titular mallard?! In the recent press junket (emphasis junk) the cast for the as yet unnamed Bond 25 was confirmed. I wonder why not just stick with “Bond 25” as the title? It has just as much…
Daniel Craig appearing in EON’s bizarre suicide prevention/pharmaceutical advert promotional campaign. This is the official synopsis of the forthcoming Bond 25: “Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica. His peace is short-lived when his old friend Felix Leiter from the CIA turns up asking for help.…
A copy of the Bond 25 script acquired at high cost of lives and money for you the reader! Dateline, April 25, 2019, EON Productions interrupts your busy day to hold a press conference for Bond 25 in order to inform you nothing is happening! Yes you read that right EON’s coterie of…