No Time To Debut 3: Addendum

I would like to add…

After months of little to no news on the No Time To Die front, EON dropped the news ever so quietly, this film would be delayed yet again and the moment I posted my article on the subject another couple nails were hammered home on the coffin of Dan Craig’s final Bond outing.

Knock, knock!

Namely reshoots will be required before this debacle hits theater screens. So, the rumors foretold by Midnight’s Edge were right then? Well not quite, remember my previous articles concerning Omega watches™, Aston Martin sports cars™ and Nokia phones™ all marketed to those well heeled underpants gnomes?

You should see my sock collection!

That’s right, this cinematic fiasco has sat on the shelf for so long all those products have gone stale!

Just like the films star.

According to this article even Bollinger champagne™ is asking to replace their goods as depicted on screen! Wait a minute, I thought champagne got better with age?

Bloody hell!

Considering the prolific amount of product placement to have infected the Bond series over the years, at this point it would be cheaper and easier to chuck the whole thing in the bin and start over. Seeing as how the anticipation for this bungled mess is so low, that move may even boost the fan’s expectations.

Coming to a theater near you.

 

In other expensive news, apparently as of mid-year 2020 the production costs were in the neighborhood of $290 mil. No word on if that figure includes the price of the previously aborted promotion campaigns or the $1 million interest payments owed every month on the loans MGM took out on EON’s behalf.

You want several million pounds to make an emasculated Bond film? What could go wrong!

 

More interesting to the overburdened British taxpayer is the £95,487 in government money handed over to Cubby Broccoli’s spoiled daughter to pay her furloughed staff. This is a woman who could find that amount of cash wedged in her sofa cushion, yet she wants your hard earned money to cover her bills! And when you consider she tried to give her toy boy a brand-new Aston Martin in an effort to buy his fealty, I question the necessity of this governmental monetary donation.

Will you be my friend? Don’t worry the government will pay for it.

 

On a lighter note Ralph Fiennes wants to keep his job a bit longer. In that article he states he would be “keen to continue training Bond.” Why start now old boy? I’m sure these are just the vacuous ramblings of an equally vacuous actor. However, if like me you are prone to reading too much into things, there is perhaps something to take away from this. If Bond “needs training” then are they planning another “hard reboot” starting all over with yet another origin story? Or, maybe (and one can only hope!) Lashana Lynch will indeed be taking up the 007 mantle as rumored and we can watch Ralph embody the “male gaze.”

Here’s looking at you ladies.

  1 comment for “No Time To Debut 3: Addendum

  1. Dirty Benny, this down and dirty (Benny) piece is so spot on. This debacle is because Babz had to have her Daniel play Bond one more time. Bond is bigger than anyone actor, a fact that was not lost on her father who had epic battles with Roger and Sean about salary. Babz accommodated her Daniel’s other projects so much that it landed her in the middle of pandemic. Craig’s “gritter” portrayal could not hold a candle to Dalton’s second outing. Craig made Bond small. RIP Bond Series.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.