No Time To Digest: Part 1, Caught in the Gun Barrel.

I have stared into the abyss and No Time To Die stared back.

 

Where to begin with this “film,” many a reviewer has called it a fitting end to Craig’s tenure as Bond and I couldn’t agree more, since the Craig era did everything it could to figuratively kill Bond, this film literally does! Yes the Craig-Bond dies and has a daughter as well!

Um, SPOILERS?!

 

Look, if your coming to this site expecting a spoiler free review, you’re as delusional as EON Production’s belief that killing Bond was a good idea!

If I can’t have you nobody will!!!!!!

 

This is a very fatalistic, defeatist film, full of emotional manipulation, not only is Bond killed off, he essentially commits suicide, standing atop a bunker allowing missiles to eviscerate him. Felix Lieter and Bro-feld, also die in different scenes as well.

Dead men walking!

 

No Time To Die is the Craig era taken to it’s logical conclusion. Essentially Christopher Nolan films with the “Bond homages” turned up to eleven. No I don’t mean in the sense Skyfall ripped off Nolan’s Batman films, I’m referring to the director’s penchant for including winks to the series in his original works. Think of Inception where Nolan admits the assault on Piz Gloria from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service was a huge influence on the snow fortress in his film.

That’s pretty much what the Craig era has been, generic action films featuring James Bond in name only and a bunch of winks, nods, nudges and homages to earlier Bond films. 

Yes, I know Die Another Day did it as well, which definitely means it should not have been continued!

 

Speaking of EON ripping off other films in a cheap attempt to give their movies a “contemporary” feel:

Casino Royale and Quantum Of Solace =

As we discussed, Skyfall =

SPECTRE =

So, what film did they copy this time around?:

Excuse me a moment…

Hey, let’s ape the most divisive film in the last 20 years!

 

In reality this movie rips off a great many films, however, we will discuss those scenes as they come up in future rants. 

The blueprints for No Time To Die.

 

Let me go ahead and address some of the elephants in the room. No tampons appeared in this film, the “popcorn dropping moment” as described when that story broke doesn’t occur, but Lynch’s character is in fact 007. Though these scenes aren’t in the final cut of the film, you can definitely see where they could have been, giving credence to the rumor this film failed a test screening in early 2020 and re-editing was performed a few months ago under the auspices of updating Nokia’s product placement. However, considering only one product makes a blink and you miss it appearance large enough to get any detail, I’m a bit dubious.

Also, concerning Lynch’s comment about her character:

“I didn’t want someone who was slick. I wanted someone who was rough around the edges and who has a past and a history and has issues with her weight and maybe questions what’s going on with her boyfriend.” 

Well, let me tell you that is a load of bollocks, she’s slicker than a greased banana peal on a sheet of ice! She comes off more stoic than the statue of Lord Nelson in Trafalgar Square only less expressive!

Emotes far more than “Agent Nomi.”

 

This is a Neil Purvis and Robert Wade written film, so of course it starts with “Bond” outside the purview of his employment, as they have done with every Bond film they have written over the past 20+ years. Whether it’s injury, imprisonment, suspension, trumped up evidence, assumed death, suspension (again), or as in this case retirement, they always have to find an “inventive” way to get Bond involved, rather than just assigning him to the mission, since he’s, you know… A BLOODY SPY!  

If only there were a way to explain why I get into so many espionage type situations!

 

Of course there is a double agent involved, because once again, this is Purvis and Wade we’re talking about, add in a vengeance plot and yet another origin story for good measure!

Pervis and Wade’s recipe for success!

 

Much is made of the cinematography in this film by the fanboys as was done with Skyfall. To which I reply “so what,” no matter how artfully you frame a photo of dog droppings, how well you get the color palate correct, no matter how brilliant the texture, at the end of the day it’s still a picture of shit! 

So artistic!

 

In order to make heads or tails of this dumpster fire you will need to familiarize yourself with the plot of SPECTRE, I humbly suggest my multi-part dissection of that film which starts here.    

 

On to the gun barrel sequence:

What can I say about this film’s gun barrel sequence that hasn’t been said about the production itself. It’s was rushed and over produced. The producers just couldn’t resist playing with the recipe, after the MGM logo gives way to the Universal Pictures logo it morphs into the white dots that precede the gun barrel, Craig quickly struts out from the right, turns and fires, then fades away, no blood drip, he just fades away and next thing we know we’re hovering over a snowy forest.

I have to wonder, is the lack of blood and fading away of Craig meant as an omen of what’s to come in this film? Or is this just another concession to the “kinder, gentler” society we’re currently residing in? I’ll leave it to you to decide…

See you next time with “Noh way in Norway.”

 

  9 comments for “No Time To Digest: Part 1, Caught in the Gun Barrel.

  1. Hi Dirty Benny, the movie hasn’t been release here in Australia but I’ve been hearing in news feeds about it breaking box office records and garnering rave reviews, so I like to counter that with the reviews on this website and alternative007, which are much more in line with my views.
    So they kill off Bond at the end of the movie? If we could bring Cubby Broccoli back in his prime and put him in a room with the makers of this movie, I wonder how he’d react to them suggesting that. I think he’d know instinctively that, however close to death Bond may come, you shouldn’t kill him off because a) there’s a slight continuity problem for the series and b) Bond’s image has been seriously tarnished. It’s really a bit of a gimmick.

    • Yes Gareth, it’s all true, they finally break the last of Cubby’s rules for Bond with Craig’s last film, It’s very egotistical making Craig the first Bond (giving him an origin story or 12) and the last Bond (killing the character on his watch) Michael G. Wilson once said nobody wants to make the last Bond film, I suppose they’ve finally made their peace with that and all for, as you say, a bit of gimmick stunt writing.

      As for the reviews and “box office records” the reviews are bought and paid for and the “records” are “post covid” so make of that what you will.

    • On the bright side, having the Craig-era depict Bond from ‘birth’ to death allows it to exist in a continuity self-contained from the rest of the series that makes it easier to ignore.

  2. Well here we finally are at the end of an era. It feels like it was just yesterday coming out of the theater in November 2006 listening to everyone around me gush about how “Bond is so badass now!” I felt like I was taking crazy pills watching each film get Bond more wrong than the last, while hearing “Craig is the best Bond since Connery” repeated over and over as a truism by popular culture. Discovering website is one of the few things that have kept me sane as a Bond fan, and I have truly enjoyed the musings, insights, and attention to detail in your posts.

    As for Bond, I actually do hope this is the end, at least for a while. I think we can truly appreciate that we have 20 great (on average) films from 1962 – 2002 that can sustain us. I don’t think there’s much more they can do with Bond in the 21th century than would be satisfying to old-school Bond fans. Not because Bond is “outdated,” but because the world today just feels like a less interesting place for Bond to adventure in than in the 20th century. To paraphrase the old quote: Bond is big, its the world that got small!

    Anyway, since I haven’t seen it yet, I’ll wait a few weeks for the crowds to thin out and then come back and finish your review. Thanks for everything, Benny!

    • Roger you humble me with your kind words! I appreciate it very much! You are not alone out there and our ranks are growing everyday.

      It’ll be at least 5 years until the next film so that should be a good break, hopefully EON will get their act together by then, but I doubt it. Any way I’ll be interested to hear what you think of this turkey when you’ve see it.

    • Well said Roger, there were at least two of us thinking the exact same thing in 2006. But I think that’s it . I don’t see real Bond ever coming back now. I gave up watching Craig’s bond after giving it one more shot with Quantum. Even then I knew it was a mistake before the pre movie action scene was over, but I could not leave the cinema as my Wife was there. I’ve just disregarded everything that has followed 2002 , a bit like all the Highlander sequels. Or the woeful star wars prequels/sequels…but I’m distressing so I will leave it there.

  3. Wade and Purvis will probably deny it, but I think the biggest influence on their NTTD script was the 1967 version of ‘Casino Royale’. And that was a comedy! Think about it. The all-star Niven farce opens with Bond in retirement and his name and 007 number taken by another agent. Then, Niven’s Bond meets his daughter. Guess who Bond meets in NTTD? Finally, at the conclusion of CR 67, Bond is killed ( along with everybody else ) when the casino explodes. When I saw CR 67 all these years ago, I never thought I’d see these plot elements in an Eon Bond movie. How wrong was I?

    • Hello Ysthfell and welcome! I think you’re spot on, I hadn’t thought of that! EON Productions had already legitimized a spoof by ripping off Austin Powers 3, making Bond and Blofeld “brothers,” so why not CR’67?!

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