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New James Bond film is s**t, say’s teenage girl

The Spoof. Com Written by Jesus Budda 29 October 2008 A teenage girl who has seen the movie has labeled the latest outing in the James Bond franchise, Quantum of Solace, “s**t” Mary Porter, 15, said it was ” a bit s**t” and that lead actor Daniel Craig was “an ugly, grumpy Bas***d”. Mary, who…

CASINO ROYALE THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT

www.the-editing-room.com CASINO ROYALE: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT™ By Rod Hilton FADE IN: DANIEL CRAIG joins forces with THE MOST INEPT SECRET AGENT EVER to follow SEBASTIEN FOUCAN. SEBASTIEN runs, requiring DANIEL to plow through a construction site, destroying everything in his path. SEBASTIEN FOUCAN (running) You’ll never catch me, Daniel Craig! DANIEL CRAIG I’m supposed to…

“Too Ugly” For Bond claims Daniel Craig’s Girlfriend

Daniel Craig “Too Ugly” For Bond claims Daniel Craig’s Girlfriend theboabyslap.com August 10th, 2006 Daniel Craig “Too Ugly” For Bond claims Daniel Craig’s Girlfriend Daniel Craig’s girlfriend, Fat Anne, stated yesterday that her boyfriend is too ugly to be James Bond. At a dinner party in plush Oxford, Fat Anne paused between mouthfuls of Angel…

Educating Daniel Craig

 talesofthestupid.blogspot.com 06 April 2006 Forget all the times we made fun of Daniel Craig. Forget that he has entry level driving skills. Forget that he has a firearms phobia only a lawyer who hunted with Dick Cheney can relate to. Forget that his message to fans who doubted his ability to portray James Bond was…

At The Fans Secret Service

Back when we trained at the Actors Studio, the great Lee Strasberg taught us that fans are “like a mistress. They need attention, love and trust. They need to be spoilt. Only then will they follow you. But you have to make the effort, because without them you are nothing. Fans are the wind beneath…

Daniel Craig Digs Deeper

 We kid you not. Every time we write something about  Daniel Craig we think, that’s it, that’s the last time we mention him. It can’t get worse. But the guy keeps coming back and asking for more. In today’s installment, Daniel Craig muses on being a thespian, a millionaire and a movie connoisseur: “I never…

Look Mom, I Ate all my Vegetables

talesofthestupid.blogspot.com 01 March 2006 Because a day without Daniel Craig feels so empty: Talk us through this one again, please: how does a guy buff up from Exhibit A (shower scene from an obscure 2001 movie called Tomb Raider) to Exhibit B (pastel gay briefs on location in the Bahamas for Casino Royale) when he…

Daniel Craig Can’t Take the Heat

talesofthestupid.blogspot.com 28 February 2006 In the eternal words of Maddie Hayes reprimanding David Addison in Moonlighting: “Just when I think you’ve gone as low as you can go, you find a basement door!” JINXED James Bond star Daniel Craig has been hit by a nasty bout of prickly heat. He suffered sunburn while topping up…

Producers Take James Bond in New Direction

  talesofthestupid.blogspot.com 27 February 2006 by Mimi Spoofington, Arsociated Farce Movie Writer New York – James Bond fans will be left stirred and shaken this winter when they discover the iconic British spy gets a sex change. “After much thought and consideration, we have decided, in agreement with the actors, to take the James Bond…

We Love Daniel Craig. No, Really

talesofthestupid.blogspot.com 23 February 2006 We thought it would be interesting to visit Daniel Craig’s hate site, www.craignotbond.com, to learn what the hell we were actually talking about yesterday. So we did, and it’s with no little amount of shame that we have to confess that his detractors somehow managed to makes us root for him.…