At The Fans Secret Service

Back when we trained at the Actors Studio, the great
Lee Strasberg taught us that fans are “like a mistress.
They need attention, love and trust. They need to be
spoilt. Only then will they follow you. But you have to
make the effort, because without them you are nothing.
Fans are the wind beneath your wings.” (Mr. Strasberg
might have had a thing for Bette Midler)

The point is, we’re not sure Daniel Craig ever got
lectured at the Actors Studio because his message to
fans — we’re working on the Twilight Zoney assumption
that he has some — is more reminiscent of bondage
Iranian propaganda:
The British actor was appearing on entertainment show Extra,
where he was asked how he has handled the reaction from his
disgruntled fans.

Daniel said: “We’re making a movie, and I think we’re making
a really good movie.

“When it comes out, if they still feel the same way then, you
know, screw them!”

We’ve given this “I hate Daniel Craig” saga a little
thought lately. And we predict this confrontation will do
nothing but escalate in the near future. But at a certain
point, Casino Royale will be so compromised financially
that the producers’ will have to cut their losses. And
their best move will be to have Craig whacked during a
freak accident on the set of the movie so they can cash
in on the insurance money and recoup some of their

Already we learn today that producers have introduced
a torture scene which has Daniel shitting his tuxedo.
Aimed exclusively at pleasing disillusioned Bond fans,
the scene will feature 007’s foes “mercilously [sic,
WTF?] maiming his genitals.” If that’s not a scene that
could go terribly wrong.

It’s satire, stupid.

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