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That bell shaped coat makes Malek look like a ding dong.
There is a ridiculous rumor floating around that Rami Malek’s character “Safin” will in fact turn out to be Dr. Julius No. I say ridiculous, but in reality nothing about EON surprises me anymore. Five years ago when the Blofeld as Bond’s foster brother rumors started swirling I categorically discounted them. No way, I thought, could they be so absurd as to validate such a daft story proposal! And yet here we are with Bro-feld as canon!
I suppose the point I’m trying to make, if I am making one, is if the theory was, “Hey EON are capable of any dumb thing now, I bet they even remake old villains.” I’d be right there with them, however what we have here is a convoluted, world is flat level of conspiracy. And not only that, they try to paint this as some sort of a good thing!
Just take a look at this nearly fourteen minute routine of gold medal caliber intellectual gymnastics!
And that kids, are how logic pretzels are made.
However, rather than try to untangle that incoherent mess of delirious conclusions, let’s take a look at this article which conveniently lays some out for us in bullet point format.
The italicized font is the quoted material from the article.
1. Rami Malek’s favourite Bond movie is Dr No
Back in April, Rami Malek took an interview with Good Morning America where he was asked if he had any favourite James Bond movies. The Oscar-winner intriguingly replied: “I liked Dr No quite a bit.”
Well there you have it then, I apologize for having ever doubted the theory and wasting everyone’s time, disregard, hit the back button and forget you ever saw this rant!
Remember when Sam Mendes said his favorite Bond film was Live And Let Die? Yet I don’t remember seeing Mr. Big in ether of the two he directed did you?
Ah, ha, ha, ha, suck it Mendes!
2. A Bond story saying he was Dr No was taken down
That same month CBS posted a story online which originally said Malek was playing Dr No.
According to The Spy Command, this reference was removed, saying: “Correction: This story has been updated to reflect that it is unclear which James Bond villain Malek will be playing.”
Wait, what!? You mean to tell me a poorly researched article was coincidentally retracted the same month Malek stated he enjoyed Dr. No! WITCHCRAFT!
3. Rami Malek interview comments on Bond villain inspiration and accent
In an interview with Empire this month, Malek revealed how he has balanced bringing originality to his Safin character, with inspiration from previous Bond villains – Dr No maybe?
(Or Goldfinger maybe, or Zorin maybe, or Scaramange maybe, or…)
He said: “If I went in there and tried to make a carbon copy of someone, what joy or fun would that be for anybody?…I’ve pocketed some things from some of my favourites.”
Here’s the original article from Empire, but it’s right there, plain as the nose on your face, he says he doesn’t want to copy someone else! He also states he pocketed things from some of his favorites, plural! As in more than one, as in he was inspired by Dr. No and he was also inspired by other villains!
While, on Safin’s accent he added: “I wanted to create something that we couldn’t quite peg from any particular part of the world.”
Let’s not forget that Dr No in the novel and film was born to German and Chinese parents before moving to the US.
Okay, so what? A generic accent, which sort of sounds somewhat vaguely European… and your point is? That kinda goes along with his desire to not play an alienating villain such as one motivated by religious fanaticism. (Also love the line, “He’s a different kind of terrorist,” where have we heard that before?)
I’m playing a different kind of Chief of Staff.
4. Oberhauser was secretly Blofeld
When the last James Bond movie Spectre was announced, Christoph Waltz’s character was called Franz Oberhauser.
With such a movie title, fans immediately suspected he was secretly playing Blofeld, only for the star to deny it.
That was until Oberhauser was revealed to be Blofeld, of course. So could Safin be a front for Dr No then?
Yeah, EON have become stupid and unoriginal, actually if this was your one and only argument, I’d be on board!
Yes, I’ve used this before, and yes I see the irony in that, and no I don’t apologize!
5. A villain to match Blofeld
Spectre built up from Casino Royale, where Daniel Craig’s Bond character arc began.
But with Blofeld being the head of Spectre and 007’s arch-enemy, just how can he be topped in No Time To Die?
Sure, Waltz’s baddie is back for Craig’s last outing, but Safin can’t just be a new villain.
There must be some sort of twist that makes him an enemy of equal-footing with Blofeld – so Dr No perhaps?
Sure he can be “just a new villain.” You know why? Because Dr. No was just a villain. There is nothing substantial about Dr. No other than the fact he was the first cinematic Bond villain. Unlike Blofeld who was a Moriarty of sorts to Bond’s Holmes, Dr. No was just one of the members of the macabre rogues’ gallery of Bond villains, no more no less (pun semi intended). To dig him, or Goldfinger, or any of the others back up and parade them around the screen is just plain lazy, uninspired film making at it’s worst.
Yeah, I did it again, if EON can do it so can I!
6. The title
Bond 25’s title was confirmed as No Time To Die earlier this month.
This makes it the first 007 movie to have “No” in the title since, well, Dr No. Perhaps there’s more to it than meets the eye? Dr No Time Die?
Whoa, mind blown dude! You know what, Goldeneye was the first film to have the word gold in the title since Goldfinger! You don’t suppose Alec Trevelyan was actually Auric Goldfinger do you? Wait! Alec, Auric, dude hold my bong my head’s starting to spin!
Bruh, what if like… Blofled was like… Bond’s foster brother, duuuuude!
7. No hands
We’ve had an official No Time To Die poster, a trailer and new image in this month’s Empire, and we still haven’t seen Safin’s hands.
In the original film, Dr No lost his hands to radiation, being replaced by bionic metal ones. Could the trailers and posters be hiding these on Malek?
Or maybe they aren’t, since you know, you can see them right here:
Oh look hands!
And if this member of a Color Me Bad tribute band is meant to be “Safin” as well, then…
8. Same look
It’s hard not to compare Malek’s looks to Dr No, with his jet black hair and similar jawline.
Additionally, Safin’s kimono-esque costume is similar to Dr No’s in the original.
No (again pun semi intended), it is easy not to compare Rami Malek to Joseph Wiseman. Other than the hair color and harsh lighting the two look absolutely nothing alike!
I took this from the article, this is what they offer as proof!
Using this guy’s reasoning, aside from the hair color, Malek could be playing Charles Gray’s Blofeld!
9. Noh Mask
The No Time To Die trailer featured a flashback to Madeleine Swann’s youth where a masked assassin – who appears to be Safin – tried to kill her father Mr White.
I don’t know of too many other publications on the net who are referring to this “rumor” (fact) which, I hate to be an I told you so, I called the second spy shots leaked of the Norway shoot last year. This means one of two things, ether this fellow has insider information from EON that not only confirms my suspicions of the Norway scene but also confirms this Dr. No business (SHIT!) and this is meant as a soft reveal in the hope of avoiding the disappointment seen in SPECTRE (good luck with that), or he’s an avid reader of the rants. In which case, hey fella, don’t take what I have to say too personally!
Or should I say Dr. No offence!
The Japanese face covering is known as a Noh mask – surely this is too much of a coincidence?
Noh, it is too much of a coincidence, and:
10. Dr No is a mad scientist and member of Spectre
The original film’s Dr No is a mad scientist who works for Spectre, which would fit in well with No Time To Die’s focus on Swann’s past and Blofeld’s return.
Mr. Osato was a Japanese businessman and member of SPECTRE which fits in just as well.
He also believes champagne brings a sparkle to the day, as well as in healthy chests.
Also, a plot rumoured to be around genetic warfare and the search for a missing scientist is certain to raise some eyebrows.
And, an Aston Martin DB5 fitted with machine guns is rumored to be in the film which is certain to elicit some shrugs.
11. Daniel Craig’s playing God line from Dr No
In the No Time To Die trailer, there’s a scene where Bond has been captured by Safin in his lair.
Craig’s 007 says: “History isn’t kind to men who play god.”
This is very similar to what Sean Connery’s Bond says to Dr No in the 1962 film: “World domination. The same old dream. Our asylums are full of people who think they’re Napoleon. Or God.”
You know, maybe I’m just an old fogey, considering I can remember waaaaaay back to 2015 in the previous film where Craig and Waltz have this conversation:
Waltz referring to what his toady “C” gets out of being his lackey; “Nothing, he is a visionary like me.”
Craig; “Visionaries, our asylums are full of them.”
The SPECTRE quote is ten times closer to the original, yet we should take this as proof positive Malek is playing Dr. No?
Screen shot from Dr. No if this author is to be believed.
12. Safin’s lair is very similar to Dr No’s
Reddit user RaggedyRandall pointed out how similar Safin’s lair is to the final fight scene in Dr No between the villain and Connery’s Bond.
The fan wrote: “It looks like a pretty close recreation of the set from the end of Dr No, with the control panels and the elevated platform that lowers into the heavy water. It’s where the final fight between Bond and Dr No happens.”
Well damn, if “RaggedyRandall” says so then that’s enough for me! But no, wait, it isn’t is it:
Are you referring to this? If so, then yeah I guess there’s a pool of water, but other than that what?
If you’re referring to this, it’s more in line with Blofeld’s volcano, Drax’s shuttle exhaust conference room, the depths of Piz Gloria or even the home where Connery fights Bambi and Thumper in Diamonds Are Forever.
Plus what the hell guy, you’re researching articles on Reddit?! Who says journalism is dead!
13. Jamaica setting
Last but not least, No Time To Die sees Bond retired to Jamaica and also features scenes in Cuba, just north of the Caribbean island.
Jamaica, where Ian Fleming wrote the 007 novels, has only featured in two other Bond movies, Live and Let Die and Dr No.
The latter sees Connery’s Bond discover Crab Key, where Dr No’s lair is.
Yeah, and as you, yourself just pointed out, Jamaica is where Fleming wrote all of his novels! Also as Madam Babz Broccoli said in the otherwise useless press conference last April when she and her motley crew gathered in Jamaica, at none other than Master Ian Fleming’s Goldeneye property, to announce to the world that they were creatively bankrupt and going to write the film as they shot, Jamaica is the “spiritual home of Bond,” Babz’ very own words!
Some place in Jamaica which has no meaning to Bond since it didn’t appear in Dr. No.
But then again maybe there is something to this and instead of Dr. No, we’re getting a reboot of Live And Let Die! Think about it, die in the title, Jamaica, masks, a lair, a villain as big as Blofeld, a generic accent and I bet if he wore blackface Malek would be the spitting image of Yaphet Kotto!
Is this the stupid mother that tailed you on Reddit?