dirtybenny

And The Band Played On

No Time To Float

 

It seems the fickle finger of fate has once again wagged itself at the production of No Time To Die, this time in the form of composer Dan Romer’s exit a scant four months from release!

According to this article the ouster was in the works as early as November and has finally been confirmed now. So Cary Funkadelic’s pal made himself so intolerable to EON that they felt it better to jettison the music man at this late date rather than work to come to an understanding? Smart, old boy, smart!

Here, I saved you a seat.

You know you’re not exactly John Williams right? You’re a mid level composer at best, who’s catalog consists of short films, documentaries and a few forgotten or never were films. Your buddy happened to luck into the director’s chair of the biggest film franchise of all time and did you a solid by dragging your useless unknown rump along for the ride. And how do you repay him? By staging enough “creative differences” with his bosses that they toss you right out on your arches mere months before the already doomed production is set to hit theaters.

Do you know who does have that sort of clout? Your replacement Hans Zimmer, who has amassed a wealth of feature film blockbusters under his belt to rival Bond royalty John Barry, I imagine by not being obnoxious to his employers.

How you win Oscars!

Now Zimmer has to scramble to concoct a pleasing enough palate of sound to spackle over the myriad cracks and fissures which will festoon this lame duck film.

Fix all, eh?! Does it work on fractured film franchises?

Hearing all this one has to wonder why David Arnold, EON’s go to tunesmith, until Sam Mendes unseated him in favor of his bestie Thomas Newman for Skyfall and SPECTRE, wasn’t given a ring? Unfortunately it appears EON doesn’t have enough faith in him to fix Dan’s mess, despite Mr. Arnold having the experience of crafting the melodic tones for five Bond films previously. I’m afraid this doesn’t bode well for fans of ol’ David, that he’ll ever come back to the Bond fold.

EON’s just not that in to you.

My favorite line of this article has to be this in reference to Newman’s work on Mendes’ two films:

The past few Bond epics have demanded long and intense scores to propel the action and heighten the suspense. 

Yes they did, because nothing else in those films was going to!

 

There is some good news however, great news in fact! Auto tune sensation Billie Eilish (or as she’s know at the local old folks’s home Billy Eyelash) has been tapped to belt, or in her case mumble, out the theme song, which makes her perfect for our friend Craig, since he mumbles every word out of his mouth!

Muh Naaamm’s Band, Jims Band

If you’ve been living under a rock for the last 12 months or have any iota of musical taste you must be asking who is this Billie Eilish you speak of? Well let me enlighten you. She’s the latest in a spate of young women to imbue their angry grunge music with a snuff film aesthetic.

If you ever find yourself in a room that looks like this, RUN! You’re not walking out alive!

See Fiona Apple as the innovator of this phenomenon in the 90’s:

Almost straight out of the Nicolas Cage classic 8mm.

I will concede at least Ms Eyelash was quite generous in her praise of the series calling it a “huge honor” and further saying;

“It feels crazy to be a part of this in every way, James Bond is the coolest film franchise ever to exist. I’m still in shock.”

Her brother who is apparently working along side her on the song said this:

“Writing the theme song for a Bond film is something we’ve been dreaming about doing our entire lives. There is no more iconic pairing of music and cinema than the likes of Goldfinger and Live And Let Die. We feel so so lucky to play a small role in such a legendary franchise. Long live 007.”

Some kind words to lavish upon this tired franchise of late.

Huzzah!

To Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson’s perspective they are quoted in the article stating:

Eilish’s song had been “impeccably crafted to work within the emotional story of the film”

So then the song’s been written already? This raises many questions, did Babz and MGW seek out Eilish? Did Eilish and her brother submit a song on their own accord in hopes of landing the theme? Or was Eilish brought in by the composer and if so which one, Romer or Zimmer?

Questions, questions, all I get is questions.

To add to the love fest, director Cary Funkycoldmadina said of Billie and her brother:

“Their creative integrity and talent are second to none and I cannot wait for audiences to hear what they’ve brought – a fresh new perspective whose vocals will echo for generations to come.”

Christ, we’re laying it a bit thick there ain’t we Care Bear? Echo for generations to come?! It’s a bloody theme song to a rushed together action film that odds are won’t be any good, not Martin Luther King’s I Have A Dream speech!

I have a dream, that one day a goth teenager will one day perform an overproduced pop song for a dying film series! 

Look I get it, Eilish is the hot new pop star du jour, but is she right for a Bond film? I suppose only time will tell, however like Capt. Edward Smith I’m getting a sinking feeling, like the rest of this film the title song will be Quantum Of Solace all over again.

This gal just screams all that is James Bond!

 

 

 

  6 comments for “And The Band Played On

  1. Avatar
    Gareth
    January 19, 2020 at 1:03 am

    Hans Zimmer is a master film composer, so that’s a plus for the movie. However, I’m dubious about Billie Ellish creating a memorable Bond theme song.

    • dirtybenny
      dirtybenny
      January 19, 2020 at 4:01 pm

      Yes, Zimmer is a good get, I just don’t know how effective he’ll be with only a couple of months to work with. As for Eilish, it’ll be Jack White and Alicia Keys all over again, way too cool for school.

      • Avatar
        Gareth
        February 17, 2020 at 8:54 pm

        Yes, the Jack White and Alicia Keys song wasn’t a classic but it was striking and it had a bit of raw energy, as did the song from Casino Royale. The Chris Cornell song in particular had some excitement that made you look forward to the movie ahead. The last three songs – including the latest song from Billie Ellish – sound like dirges. I don’t know why every new Bond theme song must now be doleful…but maybe that suits the new movies.

  2. Avatar
    Janna Watson
    January 19, 2020 at 7:55 am

    Maybe the music lyrics will be a backwards version of “ Live and Let Die.”

    • dirtybenny
      dirtybenny
      January 19, 2020 at 4:03 pm

      Lol, and if you play that backwards instaed of hearing Paul is dead it’ll be Bond is dead.

  3. Avatar
    Vincenzo
    January 20, 2020 at 9:54 pm

    If my rather hazy (from boredom probably) memory serves me well, Newman’s score for Skyflawed dipped into Zimmer’s Dark Knight theme rather a lot. Particularly around the “action climax” (yawn) just before Albert Finney started waving his portable searchlight around so the bad guys could find him and advance the plot.
    Zimmer is indeed a brilliant and gifted composer who deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as John Barry, but his hiring just smells of a mixture of desperation and cynicism.

    “Yeah, slap on a Zimmer soundtrack. That’ll do. It worked for Batman v Superman. Umm. Err… oh dear”

    With apologies to Zack Snyder, who did probably the best anyone could with the material he was given.
    (and will probably be getting a phone call from Barbara in around five years time…)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *