dirtybenny

Oh, Oh, Feminism!

 

 

From Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary:

 

“Clickbaitsomething (such as a headline) designed to make readers want to click on a hyperlink especially when the link leads to content of dubious value or interest”

 

Click here! Click here! The next installment of the James Bond franchise will feature a FEMALE “007!”

 

Note “007” is in quotes there because that’s the real story; we’re not finally getting that female James Bond all of about eight gender studies professors have been begging for, no the female spy will take the code number of the ever deserting Craig-Bond as the seventh agent with a license to kill. And about time MI-6 did replace him, considering how often this idiot runs away! He’s deserted his post three times in four movies! At the center of this stunt casting is actress Lashana Lynch, most famous for her role as the titular Captain Marvel’s sidekick Maria Rambeau.

 

(Funny how all these non-Bond fans demand Bond become, fill in the intersectional protected group, but no one is asking for this… Yet)

 

A leaker quoted in most articles states: “There is a pivotal scene at the start of the film where M says ‘Come in 007’, and in walks Lashana who is black, beautiful and a woman. (is the fact black beautiful women exist supposed to be blowing someone’s mind here?)

‘It’s a popcorn-dropping moment. Bond is still Bond but he’s been replaced as 007 by this stunning woman.”(again you don’t need to keep telling us how attractive she is! Unless you yourself don’t think so Mr/Ms Leaker and feel the need to keep reinforcing it?)

 

Those dropping their popcorn over this are people with their heads buried so deep in the sand their eyebrows are getting scorched by the earth’s liquid hot magma. Since the reboot EON’s been going down the P.C. rabbit hole, further and further with each successive film.

 

As evidence that nothing is new under the EON sun. An almost exact duplicate of this scene plays out in Die Another Day. After Bond is reinstated, we get a close up of M at her desk when she says, “Before you leave on your mission to Iceland…” leading us to believe she’s speaking to Bond, but in fact Miranda Frost sits down! OMG!!!!!!

 

 

I hate to be an “I told you so,” but…

 

 

Here I am a month ago predicting this exact scenario:

Earlier rumors about the script hinted at a female understudy for Bond, not unlike the character “Rey” from the latest Star Wars films. This character, let’s for the sake of brevity call her Rey, will most likely be played by Lashana Lynch. I say that because, while I personally find Miss Lynch to be a lovely and attractive woman, she doesn’t fit the EON architype of the romantic partner for Bond. At least not the current version of EON, while Cubby and/or Saltzman had no problem casting women who didn’t fit into the thin Nordic category (Grace Jones anybody), it seems Craig’s Bond only has eyes for Arian anorexics. So one can assume Miss Lynch will be playing a capable, overly efficient, slightly masculine junior agent and nothing more.

 

I hear you asking Benny, by what dark arts where you able to divine this turn of events? First from this article published a year ago when Boyle was still attached to the project:

 

“Supposedly, the big roles in the script are the female villain and Bond’s understudy (another female role). 

The role is not a love interest however, [it’s] the co-lead of the film.”

 

But, but, Benny that was from Boyle’s screenplay, the one they rejected! Yeah, but I also know EON 2.0 and their go to hacks, Neal Purvis and Robert Wade are never ones to let another talent’s ideas go to waste. So once you figure out the characters it’s just a matter of casting.

Second, as I also pointed out in my earlier article Lynch is the only black actress in the group and it’s pretty easy to figure what role she’ll be playing, since as I say, Danny’s character only has eyes for Aryan anorexics!

 

Obviously what Boyle had in mind was for Bond to be killed off in the end and the mantle handed over to the understudy character, thereby not only canonizing the code name rubbish, but opening the door for a female Bond. I got to give EON credit for seemingly not swallowing this garbage completely even if they are taking a healthy bite out of it.

 

The article further expands saying:

“Bond, of course, is sexually attracted to the new female 007 and tries his usual seduction tricks, but is baffled when they don’t work on a brilliant, young black woman (why are they harping on this?) who basically rolls her eyes at him and has no interest in jumping into his bed. Well, certainly not at the beginning.”

 

Again, nothing new under the sun, Bond has been rejected at least initially on countless occasions! Pussy Galore, Kissy Suzuki, Tracy Di Vicenzo, Tiffany Case, Rosie Carver just to name a few!

 

How much do you want to bet she turns out to be a lesbian, garnering extra credit “woke” points. However at the same time cheapening the effect, after all how hard is it for a woman who’s not attracted to men to resist one? Of course this is Craig we’re talking about here, this guy’s mug is so scaly he’s practically a carp, I would imagine he’s turned his fair share of women off of men!

 

Another point, the love of Craig-Bond’s life is snuffed out near the beginning of the film and first thing he does is try to bed the next woman he meets? You stay classy Craig-Bond!

 

This story line also reminds me of the third Dirty Harry film The Enforcer, wherein grizzled Inspector Callahan is initially chagrined to find he’s partnered with a woman. After she proves herself Harry finds she is in fact a capable officer and gives her a newfound respect, before she meets an untimely demise.

 

And die Lynch’s character will, either at the hands of the villain, or considering this is a Pervis and Wade film, she’ll turn out to be in fact a traitor. Or hey they can do what they did to Naomi Harris and make her a secretary! However it happens she’ll be gone by the closing credits.

 

I’ve seen some pundits claim this bit of trick casting is a way for EON to get the intersectional mafia off their backs without fundamentally changing the character. I say these folk give Babbz Broccoli too much credit!

Of course in reality this is all just a cheap gimmick in order to say, oh look at us and how progressive we are!

For more on the failed feminism of the Barbara Broccoli era and much more, stay tuned for my multi part piece coming soon!

 

  17 comments for “Oh, Oh, Feminism!

  1. Roger
    July 16, 2019 at 1:19 am

    To be honest, this is really the least worst news to come out of Bond 25. I don’t really mind if another agent is assigned the 007 number, it’s obviously temporary and will be reassigned to Bond at some point. I agree with the assessment that they were basically trying to split the difference here, having a female 007 without going full “Jane Bond.” To make the character of Bond himself into a female would be inane, because in what way could you even say it’s the same “character?” It’s like the ship of Theseus, how many parts/traits in a fictional character can you change before it is no longer the original character? Certainly some of Bond’s characteristics have been tweaked from actor to actor, but he’s always been the same character (DC not withstanding). However, to make “Bond” a female would be meaningless, because it just wouldn’t ‘be’ Bond. I guess what I’m saying is, it could be worse boys!

    P.S. My prediction is that Bond 25 will ultimately be titled: “007”

    • dirtybenny
      dirtybenny
      July 16, 2019 at 3:02 am

      Indeed Roger, soooo much clickbait! I also find it laughable how the internet broke itself responding to this. On one side the he-man woman haters raging against the titles while obviously not reading the article and the she-ra warrior princesses straining themselves as they pat themselves on the back over some BS.

  2. OmegaRed
    July 16, 2019 at 2:39 am

    This stunt is because nothing EON tried got clicks. Nobody cared his many dump trucks of money it took to woo Craig back to the role he hates just in enough time to try to claim he beat Roger Moore’s record as Bond. Ignoring he and Babs have done next to nothing for the last 15 years. In 2024 it will be 20 years since Craig became involved in the franchise, all to accomplish nothing. Babs was out of ideas in 2002, Quinton Taratino for good or bad convinced Babs and Mike CR was film-able, something Sony and MGM thought was impossible. After the un-Bondlike Craig stunned critics weary of 40 years of the same thing Babs promptly ran out of gas.

    General audiences will not care who technically has the “007” title, it’s not going to be a deal breaker for them. Many Fans on the other hand it will just because they signed on for James Bond 007. But the same fanboys who couldn’t say anything about the atrocities Babs and Craig committed butchering Ian Fleming’s James Bond 007, I doubt the sincerity of the resolution now decrying someone else better suited to the 00 job being named 007.
    Whatever happens Lynch will be a better 007 than Craig, but she also will not be able to continue the role if Marvel stays true to the comics. Maybe why she was hired.
    Also all the adjectives used to describe how beautiful, sexy, competent Lynch is supposed to be is old school Hollywood sexism. The audience doesn’t need studio/EON old school sexism in the guise of promoting a woman already elevated well beyond their little sphere of a Circus sideshow.

    • dirtybenny
      dirtybenny
      July 16, 2019 at 3:09 am

      I’m with you Omega, I believe this story line has been a while in the making but EON decided to “leak” it now in order to drum up some publicity that didn’t involve an on set accident or pervert.

      I also agree it’s disingenuous for fanboys to be crying fowl now that EON’s machinations have come to their logical conclusion when these same “staunch defenders of the Bond flame” sat back and lapped up all the tripe spilled forth over the last 4 films!

  3. Janna
    July 17, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    I wonder what Calvin Dyson will make of this. Does Michael Wilson agree with this garbage? It’s just so disgraceful that Hollywood and the UK believe a Jane Bond should ever be considered.

    • Vincenzo
      July 19, 2019 at 10:29 pm

      I used to enjoy Calvin’s Youtube reviews, but he lost all credibilty with me when he declared SkyAwfull as his all time favourite of the series, while expressing near total disdain for the Terence Young directed films.

      With luck the insulting mess that Bond 25 will, undoubtably be, may act as a wake up call to the little philistine… 😀

      • dirtybenny
        dirtybenny
        July 21, 2019 at 9:25 pm

        Like all EON sycophants, praise the new, slag the old no matter how iconic it may be. Just be sure to massage auntie Barbara’s feet and tell her how perfect her films are so you don’t lose that “exclusive” access to the jock strap wrangler!

  4. Vincenzo
    July 18, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    It sounds like an excuse to recycle one of Dalton’s lines from Licence to Kill…

    “I hope you don’t snore, Q” says Craig, as he snuggles up to a rather nervous Ben Wishlaw

    All this media-manufactured, spoilt-brat-encouraging, race/gender-baiting, boo-hoo we lost, battle of the sexes bullsh#t is driving me to drink, as well as keeping me away from the cinema. Our household even no longer bothers with television.
    I’m saving an absolute fortune. Think I’ll spend some of it on strong drink…

    • dirtybenny
      dirtybenny
      July 19, 2019 at 12:03 am

      Ha ha, a far better investment old boy!

  5. Vincenzo
    July 19, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    I will say that if, by some rather unlikely miracle, the Bond films end up back on course with decent stories and an actor that looks the part AND actually wants to be there, they should try and hang on to Ben Wishlaw.
    He is genuinely likeable and the only cast member who at least tries to enter into the spirit of things.
    Unlike the rest of the wooden blocks…

    • dirtybenny
      dirtybenny
      July 19, 2019 at 11:56 pm

      I agree Vin, he did rub me the wrong way a bit with his stuck up I.T. guy persona but he definitely went a long way to correct that in SPECTRE.

  6. Vincenzo
    July 20, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Indeed. His scenes in SPECTRE were the only source of enjoyment for me personally.
    The rest of the film stank…

  7. Julien
    July 21, 2019 at 7:00 am

    Wait I thought this was just a silly rumour from the Daily Mail tabloid. This HAS to be a joke. Then I return here and read that the Boyle script had a similar idea. So, this is happening?! Daniel Craig agreed to this? I don’t get it. Yet another reason for me to dislike the Craig era. What about the rumour that the next Bond after Craig would be a period piece reboot in the 1960s? Let’s do that. And bring back the smoking, fun and womanizing please! I thought the hints were also that Richard Madden would be the successor. Goddamnit I wanted so badly a Bond 60s reboot!

    • dirtybenny
      dirtybenny
      July 21, 2019 at 3:58 pm

      Yes old boy, it appears this is happening, but considering the ridiculous Bro-feld story line in SPECTRE are you really that surprised.

      The throw back reboot sounds interesting, but I’d never heard those rumors.

      • Vincenzo
        July 21, 2019 at 9:41 pm

        From what I can determine Craig not only agreed to this, he appears to be the instigator. It’s all his idea. I never used to actually dislike the man, I thought he was a decent actor, just miscast. But now I detest him and all he stands for with every fibre of my being.
        They could have introduced a female agent and made it fun. Plenty of banter but with an underlying theme of cameraderie between operatives, that sort of thing. Somehow I doubt that’s what those poor folk misguided enough to actually fork out for cinema tickets will get.
        Incidentally, take a look at the MI6Community forum regarding this issue. Those fanboys, most of whom I’m guessing only started bothering with Bond when Craig was cast, are tearing each other to shreds over this. Cries of “Racist” “bigot” “soy boy” and “wet liberal” going to and fro, it’s glorious 😀
        Serves them right…

        • dirtybenny
          dirtybenny
          July 22, 2019 at 1:25 am

          I whole heartedly agree Vin, funnily enough I’m working on a rant that deals with the fall out of this debacle. Look for it early next week I general debut my new work on Tuesdays.

    • Janna
      July 26, 2019 at 6:08 am

      I would love that! Chances are pretty slim though of a sixties version coming back. If only we could make our own true Bond movies!

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