#EtTu, Bond?


Recently the question has been asked how will Bond navigate the new #metoo era, the answer should be, in the same way he navigated every other social change, by being a constant in an ever changing world of upheaval. When the hippies hit the scene in the late sixties did Connery’s Bond don a tie dyed dashiki, load his trusty gunmetal cigarette case with reefer and sing Kumbaya around a drum circle? Of course not, so why should Bond fundamentally change because the truth we all knew since the beginning of the film industry came to light, which is, it’s full of creeps who force themselves on young, naive aspiring actors?

Due to this movement a small yet very vocal minority has been building to a shrill crescendo recently, in which they demand, “It’s time for a female James Bond!” No, it seems it’s time to distract from the sexual abuse scandals in Hollywood and earn social justice points by pushing this ridiculous narrative. In much the same way the original movement was quickly sidetracked to “all abuse survivors” rather than its original specific target, the entertainment industry.

Short of going full “Jane Bond” many are instead insisting Bond give up his “womanizing ways” in order to meet the decree. Compared to the earlier eras, if Bond had any less female contact at this point he’d be a Benedictine Monk! I don’t see how a debonair secret agent having consensual encounters with beautiful women is in any way comparable to a slovenly film producer pleasuring himself into a potted plant while a horrified young starlet is forced to watch!

These opinions have been formulated and bandied about because Bond is a “misogynist” or so the Professor teaching “Womyn’s Studies 101” at the local University says and they can’t be wrong! These people think of Bond in terms of a dirty stereotype their betters have concocted and shoved down their throats in an effort to play iconoclast, destroying and reshaping pop culture.

Of course the current spate of “Bond” films haven’t done much to derail this current hateful train of thought, between Craig’s creepy almost rape like “seduction” of Monica Bellucci’s widow in Spectre, his molesting and subsequently standing by as a former child prostitute is murdered in Skyfal,l when if he had acted just 30 seconds sooner could have saved her, and of course that classic pick up line in Quantum of Solace “I can’t find the stationary.”

The truth however, is the Bond series has done much to elevate women and show them in a light far outside the social constrict of their day, for example:

Honey Ryder is an independent woman making her way on her own in the male dominated world of shell diving.

Tatiana Romanova is a soviet agent with orders to seduce.

Pussy Galore (silly name aside) was not only an accomplished pilot but as we see a worthy flight instructor (see her flying circus’ performance at Fort Knox).

Fiona Volpe is a top Spectre agent, assassin and leader in their organization.

Those are but a few women from the series and consider they are from the earliest films when Bond was at his most “vile” according to his feminist critics.

You see the actual meaning of misogynist has been lost on this generation along with the ability to think critically. As I have pointed out in previous rants, a misogynist is one who hates women. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest Bond (at least classic Bond) has any hatred toward women in any way, shape or form. Quite the opposite in fact, just this morning I was watching Goldfinger and the perfect example presented itself. After Bond ejects the Chinese solder from the Aston Martin he has a clear run to freedom. That is until the little old lady guarding the gate steps in front of him toting a machine gun, but rather than run her down as he did to numerous male solders just a moment before, he swerves off leading a chase through Goldfinger’s compound to ultimately be caught, all because he couldn’t bear to run over a woman.

It’s quite obvious these detractors don’t give a toss about Bond and are only trying to out “woke” each other, while blowing a smoke screen to divert attention from their friend’s crimes. I know this because their own words betray them. They call Bond sexist, misogynist, racist, xenophobic, etc. I can’t believe someone who feels Bond is so evil and deplorable watched any of the films more than once, let alone the entire series. So I must ask, how are these people qualified to be experts on Bond and what he “needs” to be?

The irony is if EON caved to every whim the warriors of social justice demanded, these folks still wouldn’t watch the films! Generally speaking people who hold these opinions don’t care for action adventure pictures as a whole.

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