It’s no secret I’ve been critical of EON Production’s lack of… well, production over the years. Not so much because I’m eager to see the newest travesty they’ll produce, but rather on an intellectual level. Five years between films when they used to be able to crank one out every two, especially absurd when you…
… Happy New Year all! I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable holiday and wish you all a prosperous new year. Now that the pleasantries have been exchanged it’s time to get down to business. Recently EON Productions/Amazon/MGM’s latest project premiered, namely the 007 themed “reality” show: 007: Road to… (This gag will…
I’m sitting here enjoying my vacation in unofficial Bond location Palm Springs California, while the city was not named as a location for Bond’s exploits, two homes in the area were used to replicate Las Vegas locations in 1971’s Diamonds Are Forever. Namely Willard White’s “summer home” where Bond “meets” Bambi and Thumper and the…
“The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated,” or so the quote goes. “I shall return,” goes another. As you may have noticed I’ve been absent from these pages the past 6+ months, unfortunately when real life gets too “real,” “reel” life i.e. this blog must take a back seat. An industrial injury and…
“Evolve you pigs!” So Barbera “Babbzy” Broccoli and her half brother Michael G.asslight Wilson gave an interview to film industry rag Variety recently, stating Bond like men in general need to evolve and addressed the future of the series including their search for a new actor to fill Dan Craig’s rather tiny shoes. I have a…
So today marked the 60th anniversary of Dr. No’s premiere in 1962. Unfortunately I don’t feel much like celebrating at the moment, yes ding, dong the Craig is gone, but where will the series go from here? To be honest I’m not too hopeful. Well putting all that aside let’s hoist a medium dry vodka…
The prize at the end of EON production’s rainbow. A few years ago I toyed with the idea of starting a YouTube channel. Not that I’m unhappy writing here, but I thought it might have made for another outlet with more exposure and maybe make a few extra Sheckles as well. “Great, just what…
In October of last year the following documentary was unleashed to coincide with No, Time To Die’s release. Through all the slavish, sycophantic, undercarriage kissing, Danny Craig subtlety bemoans his good fortune at landing one of the most lucrative and high profile acting gigs in Hollywood. I don’t recall any anthology of Brosnan’s tenure once…
Obviously I “Photoshoped” the face of this famous picture of Russian dictator Vlad Putin, but did I replace it with the face of Daniel Craig or another picture of the 21st century Stalin? I’ll never tell!  Daniel Craig has just mounted his latest atomic bomb and ridden it off into the sunset: “Yippy kai…
Never waste an opportunity to over torture a concept! If you’ll recall last September (and I know to do, as you all study each and every one of these articles right?) No, Time To Die director Cary Joji Fukunaga had something to say about the classic Bond films during his press tour in the lead…
It’s all come down to this folks, the rest of this film and all my commentary to this point has only been a warm up to this scene! Of course I am referring to the death of “James Bond,” but we’ll cross that bridge in a moment, first the Craig-Bond and his 27th one true…
“Make it stop! So many washed out gray interiors!“ Sorry for the delay gang, this film is an absolute act of drudgery to slog through, let’s see if we can push through the bulk of what’s remaining. Okay, where were we? Last time, the Craig-Bond and 007 were just about to drop out of the…
Welcome back, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, Festive Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa and are off to a happy start to the New Year! Cuz I’m about to spoil all that by digging back in to this dumpster fire. “Mother, thank you for dragging me across Europe and hiding me in the closet every time…
“Zo Mister Craig, show me on ze doll vhere ze bad producer touched you.” No, no, no, not therapy for psychos, I’m talking about therapy by psychos! Both Satin Safin and Bro-feld probe the mental faculties of their conversation partners! Hannibal SPECTRE Let’s see, where were we, last time we witnessed the Craig-Bond, Moneypenny and the…
“Leave me out of this Shit show!” The last scene inferred the Craig-Bond had been rescued by a passing cargo ship, no doubt on it’s way to anchor indefinitely outside one of America’s ports. “We’ll get these products to market someday!” Smash cut to a darkened interior where we can vaguely make out the ceramic…
Excerpt from TripAdvisor 1912: “I wish I could give zero stars! Ship was late to New York, too much ice in drinks and air conditioning was way too cold! Epic fail!” The Craig-Bond and Dr. Borat are now airborne winging their way to a rendezvous with Felix, when Dr. Borat says in his native dialect,…
This sequence is perhaps the most bizarre out of the entire film, not because it’s any worse or poorly made than any of the others, but because it sticks out like a sore thumb. It has moments that feel more at home in a Roger Moore romp than this deathly serious Craig dirge. It’s quite…
Last episode M told Moneypenny to get him 007 and I cautioned you to hold on to your popcorn…Â Because I don’t want you to make a mess! As he says that, we smash cut to the Craig-Bond on a sailing yacht! Yes the “popcorn dropping” moment of Lashana Lynch walking in bold, black, beautiful…
A biological weapon of a different kind. When last we met, the titles were morphing into a glass edifice. Some script across the screen tells us it is now 5 years later. Down the glass wall come a gaggle of tactical johnnies all suited up in their tough guy clothes. As they go about their…
Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? As the train carrying a forlorn Madeline Swann pulls away the screen begins to morph and colorful dots start to materialize… Wait there’s something familiar about this… Where have I seen this before?! Wait a minute!… NO! Dr. NO, PLEASE GOD NOOOO! Oh Yes!…