{"id":4234,"date":"2025-02-25T20:11:35","date_gmt":"2025-02-25T20:11:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/?p=4234"},"modified":"2025-02-26T05:11:34","modified_gmt":"2025-02-26T05:11:34","slug":"hell-freezes-over","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/blog\/2025\/02\/25\/hell-freezes-over\/","title":{"rendered":"Hell Freezes Over"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n

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That’s right folks the devil is shivering his bifurcated tail off in hades right now!<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

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And those strange airborne objects in the wild blue yonder are in fact pigs!<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

As reported by Deadline<\/a>, our favorite self absorbed iron lady of EON has relinquished her creative control over Bond! Or should I say had it wrested from her. Just as I had predicted could be the case the moment Amazon bought MGM and Babz had her proxy John Logan write an op-ed about the transaction. In my response<\/a> to Johnny’s prose, I posited Babz “ironclad assurances” could acquire a thick scaley layer of rust.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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The status of Babz’ assurances<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

A month before this bombshell it was revealed Babz and Bezos were feuding over the future of Bond, with Baz replying “read the contract” when her creative authority was challenged. And read it they did, working hard to find a way to get the Barbera Broccoli sized road block out of their way.<\/p>\r\n

As I said in that earlier article, Amazon would not be content to stand idly by while Babz faffed about with her passion projects letting their multi billion dollar investment gather dust. Babz had become accustomed to dealing with the perpetually bankrupt MGM, who were happy to sit on their hands while she dangled another shoddy film before them, which they would use to bolster the studio’s value before selling it off to the next group of suckers willing to take a stab at film making in a game of Hollywood hot potato.<\/p>\r\n

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“Catch idiot!”<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Unfortunately for Babz, Amazon bought the studio this time around and they have the money and more importantly the lawyers to put out her lights. Babz though she could continue to play the I’m taking my ball and going home game, however she found herself outclassed and out maneuvered, exposing just how out of her depth she is in the cut throat world of entertainment business.<\/p>\r\n

Rumor has it Amazon paid upwards of…<\/p>\r\n

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“One Billion Dollars!”<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

to Babbzy and her brood. So it was “Plomo o Plata.”<\/p>\r\n

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Quite frankly I think they got off cheap, I mean what price do you put on your father’s legacy and your only ticket to Hollywood relevancy. But don’t weep for Babz, she’s got plenty of irons in the fire, such as her off, off Broadway plays and abysmally performing non-Bond films. In ten years time maybe she’ll still have two nickels to rub together from that billion dollar pay out.<\/p>\r\n

So what does all this mean for the future of Bond? First of all for better or worse, there will be a lot more of it. The major bone of contention between Babz and Bezos was Amazon’s insistence on creating an “extended universe” with spinoffs for every incidental character to ever share screen time with Bond. One such idea cited in the many articles<\/a> Babz had commissioned during her sparring match with Amazon is a Moneypenny series.<\/p>\r\n

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“Hooray?”<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Since the news hit, my feed has been inundated with much wailing and gnashing of teeth from pundits left and right bemoaning Amazon’s newfound control. I find this humorous as many of these same voices were slagging the direction of the series particularly the last two films. You see gang, Babz’ ideology is not far from Amazon’s, she’d be happy to include much of the modern intersectional politics these wags are afraid of. She just wants to do it more slowly. Like the proverbial frog in the boiling pot, she wants to turn up the heat incrementally rather than toss us all into the rolling boil. After all…<\/p>\r\n

“Bond is evolving just as men are evolving. I don\u2019t know who\u2019s evolving at a faster pace.”<\/em><\/a><\/p>\r\n

Also from that article:<\/p>\r\n

“In a bid to equalise (sic) Bond and Bond girl, Craig was also keen to be clad as scantily as the female characters. \u2018He\u2019s more naked than the women. I\u2019ve designed it that way. I mean, look at Casino Royale,\u2019 he said, referring to the scene in which Bond emerged from the sea in swimming trunks. Naked, not just physically, but also, perhaps, emotionally.”<\/em><\/p>\r\n

That’s supposedly straight from Craig’s mouth!<\/p>\r\n

More humorously is this quote from the Daily Mail<\/a>:<\/p>\r\n

“Disney took Star Wars and diluted it with endless TV series and characters that bore no resemblance to the original stories and characters fans loved,’ a former Disney executive said. ‘Look what happened to Doctor Who. Hollywood took control of that and you’ve had increasingly woke storylines<\/strong> which alienated fans.”<\/em><\/p>\r\n

Yes, you wouldn’t want to get increasingly “woke.”<\/p>\r\n

Like say making Bond “pansexual.”<\/p>\r\n

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Creating a new “stunning and brave” 007.<\/p>\r\n

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Or emasculating Bond to the point he’s the one carrying a small child while his girlfriend does all the shooting.<\/p>\r\n

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Or have the MI6 gadget master put the Q in LGBT.<\/p>\r\n

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Also from the Daily Mail article:<\/p>\r\n

“Barbara and Amazon never saw eye to eye. To her, Bond is her family’s legacy, something that must be nurtured and protected. She once told set designers to remove a door handle to a villain’s lair because it didn’t look ‘evil’ enough.”<\/em><\/p>\r\n

Ah yes that famous Broccoli attention to detail, Babz would never allow such things as creating tenuous family ties between Bond and archnemesis Bolfeld.<\/p>\r\n

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I mean he spent a total of two winters there, he was more of a house guest.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

Rip off Batman<\/p>\r\n

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or Bourne.<\/p>\r\n

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I could go on, but then I would just be reprinting every article I’ve ever posted.<\/p>\r\n

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“Please don’t!”<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n

I am also under no illusion Amazon is going to do right by Bond either. I can imagine remakes of all the original films in the “Amazon style” coupled with an erasure of the originals, buy those hard copies now! And just look at what they’ve done with their Lord of the Rings<\/em> series.<\/p>\r\n

\"\"\"\"<\/p>\r\n

“I need TP for my one rrrrring!”<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

I’m not looking forward to a Felix Leiter series or finding out what Chief of Staff Bill Tanner does in his off hours.<\/p>\r\n

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Nor am I interested in the Moneypenny show mentioned above. Of course the only reason such a program is being considered is down to the fact EON retconned her into a failed field agent turned secretary.<\/p>\r\n

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How’s that for girl power?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n

However in these early dark days there is still hope, ol’ Jeffery himself posted on X\/Twitter the question “Who should play the next Bond?” The unequivocable answer was Cavil, Henry Cavil. Will Hank get the roll? Who knows, but it points to the fact we are dealing with a company interested in following the first rule of mass media.<\/p>\r\n

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None of this really bothers me as Bond has been dead and buried in my mind for quite some time. Amazon can’t do to him what hasn’t already been done by Babz. Worst case scenario there’ll be more of it more often. I see it like this, Bond is in the final stages of a terminal disease, under Babz continued care he’d slowly suffer, wither and die. Amazon is a new, very experimental treatment that could potentially save him or (more likely) finish him off much, much quicker. Like I said Bond is dead to me already, if this works it’ll be a pleasant surprise, if not, well we were heading down this road already.<\/p>\r\n

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\"\"\u00a0<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That’s right folks the devil is shivering his bifurcated tail off in hades right now! And those strange airborne objects in the wild blue yonder are in fact pigs! As reported by Deadline, our favorite self absorbed iron lady of EON has relinquished her creative control over Bond! Or should I say had it wrested…<\/p>\n

Read more →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":4237,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[95,96,85,9,5,4,50,98],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bond7","category-dirtybennyweeklyrant","category-editorial","category-henry-cavill","category-james-bond","category-mgm","category-news","category-rumours"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4234","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4234"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4234\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4262,"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4234\/revisions\/4262"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4234"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4234"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}