{"id":2118,"date":"2019-10-20T16:58:51","date_gmt":"2019-10-20T16:58:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/?p=2118"},"modified":"2021-02-06T17:20:21","modified_gmt":"2021-02-06T17:20:21","slug":"well-healed-fanboys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/blog\/2019\/10\/20\/well-healed-fanboys\/","title":{"rendered":"Well Heeled Fanboys"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Yo check it Bond bros, I just got some No Time To Tan the official James Bond special edition skin dye!<\/strong><\/p>\n

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I alluded to a certain class of Bond fan in my Aston Martin rant some time back, namely the well healed fanboy who shells out his hard earned money for the various “officially licensed” product tie ins from the films. “Well Healed” is a bit of a misnomer, these gents don’t necessarily need to be wealthy, just have enough disposable cash to burn on such frivolities, unless of course they’re splurging on a limited edition Aston.<\/p>\n

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These objects make up for my absolute lack of personal style and\u00a0charisma!<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Full disclosure, I like many fans have a few pieces of Bond memorabilia in my collection. For example, I use a Dunhill Broadboy lighter similar to the one Connery puts to good use, lighting up his first iconic cigarette in Dr. No. I also own a vintage speargun just like the ones used in Thunderball, as well as the obligatory Omega watch (standard blue Seamaster not, I say again not a special edition) and many of my suits are inspired\u00a0<\/em>(emphasis inspired) by the timeless style of classic bond. That however is not what I’m talking about, I’m referring to the black holes of\u00a0personality who wrap their whole persona into the minutia of what Craig (or any Bond) is wearing in any given scene.<\/p>\n

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A few months ago clothing manufacturer Orlebar Brown<\/a>\u00a0decided to dive into the fray of homage apparel geared towards these homunculi.<\/span><\/p>\n

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At least they got their inspirations right!<\/strong><\/p>\n

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I’ll admit some of the pieces look rather nice, however considering they took their cues from Connery and Moore most of the collection is made up of timeless monochromatic shirts and swim trunks so they couldn’t go far wrong.<\/p>\n

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Well…<\/strong><\/p>\n

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The biggest problem with this collection is the price,\u00a0$295 US<\/a> for a pair of blue swim shorts?!<\/p>\n

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Only the finest nylon is used in our trunks<\/strong><\/p>\n

And I’m willing to bet that’s a discounted price, because they’re down to only one\u00a0remaining size. That means they found a gaggle of weak minded dullards to fork over a small fortune for light blue shorts they could’ve found at any department store for a pittance of the price!<\/p>\n

Also bear in mind the seven pieces on their site are all they have remaining of the collection<\/a>, they began with shirts:<\/p>\n

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Jackets:<\/p>\n

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Even robes and shoes:<\/p>\n

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The least of these things started at around $300 and went up from there! But let’s go back to that Goldfinger romper.<\/p>\n

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If they were honest about their clientele,\u00a0it’d only come in obese and pre-stained with Cheetos dust.<\/b><\/p>\n

Connery was barely able to pull it off in 1964 because one, it was 1964 and two, he was Sean bloody<\/em> Connery!<\/p>\n

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I could wear a burlap sack and make it look cool.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You on the other hand, my flaccid little friend look like a sickly pensioner making his way to the communal mailbox at a Miami retirement condo!<\/p>\n

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I wonder if my Publisher’s Clearinghouse mailer has come in yet?<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Much like this geezer:<\/p>\n

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(Liver spots not included)<\/b><\/p>\n

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Who buys such rubbish I hear you asking, well…<\/p>\n