{"id":1753,"date":"2019-06-25T14:14:42","date_gmt":"2019-06-25T14:14:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/?p=1753"},"modified":"2019-06-25T14:14:42","modified_gmt":"2019-06-25T14:14:42","slug":"pumping-iron-and-other-substances","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/danielcraigisnotbond.com\/index\/blog\/2019\/06\/25\/pumping-iron-and-other-substances\/","title":{"rendered":"Pumping Iron and Other Substances"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Daniel Craig fresh from working out on set. Sorry this gag never gets old, unlike Craig.<\/p>\n

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EON released the preceding photo on their Twitter account a few days ago, I’m assuming to assure everyone Dan hasn\u2019t fallen off his special muscle \u201csupplements.\u201d Unfortunately all it did was bring this image to mind.<\/p>\n

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So I guess Bond has gone full Schwarzenegger, pumped, inflated and engorged beyond recognition. Only the veins bulging from his neck remind us he\u2019s human rather than a terminator. Too bad Craig hadn\u2019t put that much work into his ankles rather than his forearms! Speaking of forearms, I\u2019m glad Craig made sure to wear his Omega™ watch on his. You don\u2019t… No… You don\u2019t suppose this photograph was staged do you?!<\/p>\n

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The comments on this tweet were pretty much split 50\/50 between “Best Bond Eva!!!!!!!!” and “What happened to his foot?” So EON’s Twitter feed is equal parts sycophantic shills and folks barely paying casual attention to the on set shenanigans.<\/p>\n

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I don\u2019t care how ripped, yoked or buffed he gets, it\u2019s not bond. Even if you go by the former military special operator in a tux template the modern Bond has become, his exaggerated physique is incorrect. Look at the U.S. Navy SEALs the American archetype for this incarnation of the character, they are certainly fit, very fit, but none of them would want to lug the 20-30 extra pounds of dead weight those chemically (allegedly) swollen pecks and biceps represent on a mission.<\/p>\n

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Here SEALs are conducting “drown proof testing” not a lot of excess muscle floating around is there?<\/p>\n

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All of that aside, it\u2019s not what Fleming (remember him) imagined for the character. Fleming\u2019s Bond was a naval intelligence officer not a commando. Fleming had an insider\u2019s knowledge of such operations having planed a few during the war, yet chose to place Bond in intelligence rather than make him a front line operator. Of course Bond got into physically taxing adventures causing him to test his athletic prowess, but it\u2019s mostly his wit and tenacity that sees him through. So pumping the starring actor full of steroids (allegedly, I mean how else can a 51 year old get so immense), does not fulfill the \u201crealistic\u201d or \u201cback to Fleming\u201d mantra that EON and their lackeys have been intoning since Craig was cast.<\/p>\n

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In other news of malingering. Director Cary Funknwagnels has been accused of slacking off on set<\/a>, I said slacking get your mind out of the gutter. That would be another individual<\/a> who set up hidden cameras in the women’s bathrooms on the Bond 25 set! Back to Cary Funkadelic, the wunderkind spent three hours playing video games rather than doing his homework, I mean his job, to wit helming the Titanic. Care bear\u2019s little gaming session supposedly set the crew back so badly they were required to work through the Father\u2019s Day weekend, many of whom refused, sparking a call of Mutiny on the Bounty. Once done, this film is shaping up to be a real Action\/Poseidon Adventure\u2026 Lusitania! Sorry couldn\u2019t think of a witty way to work it in.<\/p>\n

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The great director has addressed the rumors\u00a0concerning his video game habit. Funny how Cash n Cary doesn’t deny a delay, just that his need for virtual stimulation had nothing to do with it. He offers as evidence, the fact his completion progress for video game Red Dead Redemption 2 has been holding at 63% for the past few months. No word on how far along he is on Hitman or Assassin’s Creed though.<\/p>\n

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In news from the realm of thanks but no thanks, apparently you can win a visit to the set of the Hindenburg with the anointed one himself!<\/p>\n