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The title to this rant is a reference to something Craig said a while ago concerning the darker direction his films took compared to his predecessors. Of course Craig\u2019s quote was far cruder, containing his obligatory F-bomb, but what else would you expect from a man who looks like a longshoreman? His implication is Austin Powers spoofing some of the spy tropes of the 1960\u2019s and You Only Live Twice, Diamonds are Forever specifically, required a more shall we say \u201cBourneian\u201d approach to the films. I\u2019m not questioning that the series needed a course correction from the extremely over the top Die Another Day, but you\u2019re telling me the Powers films, those goofy parodies, required the largest film franchise in history to completely retool because they made fun of a few clich\u00e9s from three plus decades ago?<\/p>\n
Casino Royale is wiped clean of any of the Bondian panache established over the previous 20 films. Apparently depicting Bond as a suave, sophisticated man of the world who knows what he wants and how to get it, is impossible because Mike Myers put on a bad wig, false teeth and a horrid pair of glasses.<\/p>\n
Quantum of Solace is basically just a shot for shot remake of the third Bourne film, because EON shan\u2019t have an original thought any longer.<\/p>\n
Skyfall, is where thing get a bit weird, suddenly, EON became obsessed with creating gritty reboots of the Powers plot lines. Two films ago they tore the formula asunder due to Powers shenanigans and now he seems to be an underlying template to the franchise. For example once Craig is shot off the train in the pre-title sequence, he spends the first half of the film trying to get his \u201cmojo\u201d back, just as Austin does in his second film. Craig\u2019s Bond is a wreck wallowing about in his own misery and self-pity while bumming around some third world country. Once he decides to return, he fails all of his physical and mental tests, eventually his self-doubt reaches its apex when he can\u2019t shoot a glass of whiskey off the doomed Bond girl\u2019s head. However like Powers he realizes he had the power of the mojo inside him all along when he suddenly and effortlessly disarms and incapacitates all of Silva\u2019s men in an instant and finishes the film with a renewed vigor.<\/p>\n
You knew this was coming, the most egregious example by far, SPECTRE and the brothers Bond. What was a most ridiculous plot device in a campy spoof comedy is suddenly and unapologetically made canon in the Bond mythos. Now the most ridiculous thing in the bond catalog is no longer double taking pigeons, invisible cars, bad CGI or even Bond in space, no, now we have this absurd coupling of Bond and his nemesis by a familial link! On top of the crap plot line the meeting at SPECTRE H.Q. contained gritty versions of Powers characters; Frau Farbissina is most certainly in attendance!<\/p>\n
One has to wonder what Bond 25 has in store. A morbidly obese Scotsman? A tiny person? Blofeld\u2019s teenage son? We can only wait and see; perhaps we\u2019ll finally get those gritty \u201cFem-Bots\u201d we\u2019ve all been waiting for!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The title to this rant is a reference to something Craig said a while ago concerning the darker direction his films took compared to his predecessors. Of course Craig\u2019s quote was far cruder, containing his obligatory F-bomb, but what else would you expect from a man who looks like a longshoreman? His implication is…<\/p>\n