April 7, 2006
Slap of the day
By Patrick Enright
TODAY'S SLAP: Daniel Craig
WHY I WILL SLAP YOU: You've taken a lot of heat (including from yours truly) for not
being able to drive Bond's Aston Martin and for just generally being un-Bond-ish.
And I was feeling kinda bad about it, honestly. I had my notarized letter of apology
(well, crayon-scrawled cocktail napkin of apology) all signed and ready to go, and
then I heard that they actually had to teach you how to play poker for the role. Come
on now, Danny. Have you never seen a Bond movie or read a Bond book? Did you
think 007 goes after the bad guys on a bicycle and swaps witty banter with the evil
mastermind over a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos?
WHAT I WILL SLAP YOU WITH: A plane ticket to Vegas. Let's meet at the $50 ante
table, and I'll show you the ropes. Bring plenty of hundreds.
HOW HARD I WILL SLAP YOU: Hard enough that you'll go crawling to Sean and
Pierce and beg them (beg!) to teach you a little something about how to be
super-suave and über-cool. Or heck, just ask them to step into the role instead.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
