'New Bond Will
Strip For Booze'

Daniel Craig, the next James Bond, is set to take the superspy to new places:
blonde, mediocre-looking, unsettlingly blue-eyed places. But as purists are already
taking bets as to how quickly he will be replaced (11 minutes into the upcoming
Casino Royale’s opening waterskiing sequence seems to be the odds-on favorite),
Craig is readying himself for the arduous shoot by committing to an oath of

New JAMES BOND DANIEL CRAIG has vowed never to drink alcohol around film
directors, because he often finds himself agreeing to outrageous scenes while
under the influence.

The 37-year-old actor, who stripped down in his 2000 movie SOME VOICES,
blames a heavy boozing session with director SIMON CELLAN JONES for his
gratuitous nudity.

Craig says, “The scene was written as me running down the road stripped to the
waist covered in tomato juice.

“But then I got drunk at Simon’s and said, ‘I’ll do it naked!’ The lesson is never get
drunk with directors.”

We sincerely hope the Royale propmaster gets the memo, and puts water in those
shaken martinis, instead of premium hooch. Craig is enough of an unorthodox
candidate as it is; the last thing we need to put the franchise any further into
jeopardy is a birthday-suited 007 swerving his Aston Martin across a four lane
highway before leaning over to puke in new Bond girl Labia Majora’s lap.